Blah, well I didn’t hear from “Ex #1″ at all today, so I’m going to assume tomorrow will be the big day.

However around midnight or so, which is about half an hour ago, someone was parked in the driveway when I was coming back from the bathroom, and I saw a figure in our lawn. I think that was him, I guess he thought he’d stop by on the way to his mothers. Perfect timing for the bathroom I wasn’t going to get into it at MIDNIGHT. Besides, my dad and sister are asleep.

*sigh* I’m so nervous, I don’t know what to do….any suggestions as to how I should handle this tomorrow?

I miss Ex #4….he should be back any minute now…

I think I’m starting to suffer the consequences of having friends know about my journal. It’s the same as before, I feel like I can’t vent about what I want because someone might get offended. When will I ever learn. Or. When will I stop caring?

There have been a few decisions being made on the MUD that I’m working on, that I’m not very happy with. Mostly because none of them had been discussed with me, -or- with Ex #4. And I don’t rightly know how to go about getting everything settled. Things are just getting a little out of control and it’s really starting to irritated the hell out of me. And I don’t make very smart decisions when I’m like that. So I’m just waiting for him to get back from vacation.

I tried talking it out with my friend Paulie, who I’m talking to again finally, and he decides to play Devils Advocate, in the process making me feel like a total ass. It’s not like I conjure up these feelings out of thin air, I feel justified in them. And I am capable of talking things out like a mature adult, but I’m not going to do any of it until Ex #4 gets back from vacation.

Staying at home, unemployed, isn’t helping my mood either. Everything festers when you don’t do anything all day. I really want this job, I hope he calls me soon. He said he would call either way.

And then there’s my mom going psycho lately, my husband gets out of the military this weekend so I have to put up with his shit and get our finances straightened out and get this divorce over with. My sister has been gaining a lot of weight, I think due to the stress of this custody battle crap. My dad is having some serious trouble with his leg to the point where he may not be able to work anymore. If that happens that mean I will have to take over his bills -and- mine. I won’t be able to go to college this fall like I wanted, so I’m going to try again in the spring.

Just what the hell is going on here? Dammit it’s all makes me so irritable.

Went for my interview just now, wasn’t bad. I think I have a good chance at it, although there were a bunch of other people who applied. It looks like it would be in a relaxed setting, which is great. I’d be working from the guys house. But the MAIN reason I think I’ll get it…………………is because his puppy liked me *nods*

Heh, I wish. Send me some good vibes! I want this job! I don’t care if it’s a full moon, magick comes when it’s needed sometimes too.

Had a semi-nice conversation with ‘him’ last night. It’s a rollercoaster I swear, sometimes things are horrible, and other times they are great. I think I should pinpoint when things start to get horrible so I can just sleep through them.

I’m plugging Sarah because she’s been such a sweetheart to me and is plugging me to win Domain of the Month on Pick Me.

I quit my job. Yay!