Suffering the Consequences
I think I’m starting to suffer the consequences of having friends know about my journal. It’s the same as before, I feel like I can’t vent about what I want because someone might get offended. When will I ever learn. Or. When will I stop caring?
There have been a few decisions being made on the MUD that I’m working on, that I’m not very happy with. Mostly because none of them had been discussed with me, -or- with Ex #4. And I don’t rightly know how to go about getting everything settled. Things are just getting a little out of control and it’s really starting to irritated the hell out of me. And I don’t make very smart decisions when I’m like that. So I’m just waiting for him to get back from vacation.
I tried talking it out with my friend Paulie, who I’m talking to again finally, and he decides to play Devils Advocate, in the process making me feel like a total ass. It’s not like I conjure up these feelings out of thin air, I feel justified in them. And I am capable of talking things out like a mature adult, but I’m not going to do any of it until Ex #4 gets back from vacation.
Staying at home, unemployed, isn’t helping my mood either. Everything festers when you don’t do anything all day. I really want this job, I hope he calls me soon. He said he would call either way.
And then there’s my mom going psycho lately, my husband gets out of the military this weekend so I have to put up with his shit and get our finances straightened out and get this divorce over with. My sister has been gaining a lot of weight, I think due to the stress of this custody battle crap. My dad is having some serious trouble with his leg to the point where he may not be able to work anymore. If that happens that mean I will have to take over his bills -and- mine. I won’t be able to go to college this fall like I wanted, so I’m going to try again in the spring.
Just what the hell is going on here? Dammit it’s all makes me so irritable.
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