Day of Tragedy
Though my site is currently down in memorial, I find myself wanting to post and express how I feel. It is afterall, my site.
Mitch had a wonderful idea in expressing what he was doing and how he felt in his journal, as his own tribute to today, and I wanted to thank him for it. Actually he’s the reason I wanted to post this today, to do the same thing.
I wasn’t working, I was unemployed, and being lazy. So of course I was asleep. I remember the UPS man delivering a package to our neighbor around 9:30am, and I remember the windows being up. I remember it being sunny and hot, and I remember hearing my neighbor jabbering on to the UPS man, and oddly enough the only words I could decipher were something like “Did you hear about those towers being hit?”
I didn’t think anything of it at the time, I just went back to sleep. What was strange, was that then I had a dream about there being some sort of…..disaster, like a building falling, and then seeing hundreds of bodies everywhere. It was as clear as day.
I think that I woke up, did the usual bathroom and then breakfast routine. And Ex #4 called around 1pm, not sure from where. I know he was in school that day. By this time I had already turned on the television and saw -something- about some attack. Ex #4 had called to make sure I was okay since I live about 45 minutes to an hour from D.C. Of course I was okay, hell I didn’t even know what was going on.
Like everyone else I was glued to the television the rest of the day, even days afterwards.
Today I woke up around 9am or so, watched some programs on CBS and NBC where they were naming all of the victims of 9/11. Watched some music videos dedicated to patriotism. One inparticular that had me tearing up was by Garth Brooks, about the Oklahoma City bombing, seeing all of those little children all beat up and scared. And then seeing them showing the towers fall again. Another one was by George Jones, about the Vietnam War, and the great wall that lists the 50,000 names of the soldiers who died.
It seems like almost every generation has to suffer a big tragedy. I hate to compare it the cycle of life but that’s the first thing that pops in my head when I think of everything that’s happened. I hate to think of what tragedy my children will have to deal with, many years from now.
I’m pretty torn right now I guess. I spoke with Ex #4 just now and he was talking about how they were watching NBC and there were people, families of the victims I believe, complaining about how they haven’t been compensated enough. That the organizations that have been donating all of this money, haven’t donated enough. He said “This is where politics start to go wrong.” And I have to agree.
I donated a lot of money to the charities myself actually. A couple hundred dollars, which, for an unemployed woman, is quite a lot. I’m sure millions in total were donated. I don’t really know how anyone could stand up, and instead of saying thanks, complain about how it’s not enough. It’s really sickening.
I want so much to be proud of my country. I’m proud of what we supposidly stand for, I am proud of all of the people who fought and died to keep our country free. I’m extremelly proud to be an American, and I am proud of my heritage. But I will openly admit, that I am really starting to despise our government.
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