Feeling Lonely
I’ve been feeling pretty lonely lately. I talked to Ex #4 maybe 5 minutes yesterday before he left to go to some party. He never called when he came home, and being as it’s already 2:40pm today, I doubt I’ll hear from him today either.
I’m not used to feeling lonely, not till recently anyways. I mean I’ve endured a lot of time by myself, when my husband was in the military. There were months at a time where I’d just stay home and do nothing while he was out at sea. But I always knew that there’d be a time where he’d come back.
I like my privacy, I like having time alone, but too much, really puts me in some sort of depression. I don’t like feeling like I’m totally alone. I feel like there isn’t a soul on this earth that I can talk to about everything. Even Ex #4, he’s been so distant lately.
I’m going out to the Irish Moon coffee house tonight to spend some time with some fellow witches. Anything to keep my mind off of being so lonely. I’m hoping that work and these pagan events will develop some friends that I’ll see on a regular basis. My other friends are too busy with work and college. Even my cousin Steph, who I had that car accident with back in May is too busy to hang out anymore.
Heh, if I wanted I could hang out with “Ex #1″, but um, no. I don’t want to be anywhere near him.
On another note, my father saw an article in the newspaper about the witches I hang out with at the Irish Moon. So he asked me today “So that place you go to is all about witchcraft, huh?” Well that was kinda out of the blue, but I answered anyway “Well……..yeah but it’s not what everyone seems to think. It’s not like I sacrifice animals or babies or anything (We have a lot of animals).
He was surprisingly understanding. And here I thought my dad was a fairly religious man, even though he’s really big into Native American beliefs. That made me feel a little better.
It’s odd, but I feel like having this journal, is almost a necessity. To feel like people might actually read what I am thinking, and understand. To know that maybe what I am feeling, isn’t so absurd.
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2 Responses to “Feeling Lonely”
September 13th, 2002 at 8:56 am
Sorry you are feeling lonely. I ahve been feeling thta way too
Feel better soon! And if you ever need to, e-mail me! i know you don’t know me but.. sometimes its good to talk to strangers, ya know? Take care!
September 13th, 2002 at 12:14 pm
I totally know what your feeling on the lonely front.. I mean.. Don’t get me wrong I love being by myself too.. but its been over a year since I’ve been out with anybody.. and even my friends are moving further and further away. I have a handful of dedicated friends and such online, and then my family. That’s it.. I miss having somebody there who cared enough to listen to me rant.