Love and Drumming Circles
I’m about to get a shower and head over to pick up Jeanie so we can all go to a drumming circle tonight. I’m taking my sister with me too 
I’m so happy.
We had a lot of emergencies at the hospital last night, two animals were hit by a car, one of which had some of its insides protruding from its skin. Blech. Actually the weird part was his owner was someone I went to school with. So while the doctors were working on the cat I stayed and talked with him and comforted him a bit because he was worried. I don’t even remember this guy hardly from highschool, but hot damn. Where were all of these good looking guys when I was still in highschool? There’s this other guy Brian, who is a Technician at work most evenings, and besides the fact he can be an ass to other people (at times) he and I seem to get along -okay-.
I dunno, I wish I met these people, or met Ex #4 before I got married, before I started making stupid decisions like that. I think my life would be totally different right now. Which could be good or bad.
When I married “Ex #1″ I moved out of my mothers house, leaving my sister there. My mother, in turn, started dating stupid people (Like Pete) because she can’t stand being alone and can’t do the chores around the house by herself. So she married a convicted child abuser and rapist, and everyone had to suffer and go to court, my sister had to be put through all of this trauma. I’m in a huge debt due to a Visa bill that “Ex #1″ charged up. And even now, we’re both working fulltime jobs and he takes out at least a $100 a week to spend on ‘things’ and buys all of this useless stupid shit we can’t afford.
All because of one stupid decision on my part, marrying “Ex #1″. Who I can’t even stand anymore.
I don’t want to make a stupid decision like that again. Absolutely not. When I get married again, to whoever that may be, it’s going to be with someone that I know I can spend the rest of my life with.
I am going to be -very- sure before I’ll even -consider- marriage again. No more stupid decisions for me. I’m not going to be so dependant on someone, who doesn’t even care about me enough to stay faithful to me. I’m not going to be dependant on someone, who treats me like shit. It just isn’t going to happen.
Sorry, I know I’m ranting. I’m a little concerned about the relationship between Ex #4 and I lately. I think mostly concerned that the fact we hardly worry about spending time with each other anymore, just doesn’t seem to bother me. I’ve been hanging out with my old friends, I’ve been taking care of myself, working hard, meeting new people. I just don’t know what I want to do now where Ex #4 is concerned. He parties every night, I’m usually working or hanging out with my friends. I just don’t feel the ’spark’ as much anymore. Sure I feel it a little, but….it’s different now.
I’m sure things will work out the way they are supposed to eventually. I just hope it’s for the better. I’ll just walk the blind path until then.
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3 Responses to “Love and Drumming Circles”
September 20th, 2002 at 8:17 am
Can’t you cancel the credit card that has both of your names on it so that he can stop wracking up your debt? That way you can slowly pay it off and then be out of the financial straights so that you can file for divorce? It just seems terribly unfair for him to be making the debt worse rather than helping you pay it off… so at least you could stop him from adding to it?
September 20th, 2002 at 8:17 am
i was married too. we had some straining experiences. and i remember feeling before i got divorced like i would take my time before getting married again. i hope things get better for you. take care.
September 20th, 2002 at 3:55 pm
Aww.. take care Crys.. and I got some good news, I think i got Moveable Type to run! Check your e-mail..