Dark Place in the Heavens
I’ve been in sorta of a dark place this last week. Ex #4 tried to dump me this past weekend. After a lot of crying I convinced him that we should take things slowly and see how they go. I am scared of losing him. He’s convinced that we may not have much in common anymore and that our lives are heading in different directions.
I think he’s failed to realize that he isn’t the only one that has been changing. I’ve changed too. I used to wear a lot of torn jeans and band t-shirts, and I’ve somewhat started liking more feminine things. He’s gotten me into a lot of techno music when I used to be a hardcore hard rock/classic rock fan only. Now I’m both, how clever. I used to want to own a big ranch in Montana and be a simple farmer. Now I want to see the world and experience new places. However I still worry about my father and sister, but when the time comes for me to make a decision about where to go, I’ll decide it then. I have a career now that I’m working on, and you have college. We both have things we need to get through before we can be together for good. But it’s well worth the wait. There isn’t a person in this world I feel more comfortable with.
Tomorrow I am joining a gym. My friend Stephanie and I are going to go there in the morning virtually every day. I think it will be good for me.
Ex #4, I love you more than anything. I know you think we’ve grown a part because you’re in college now and you’re starting to have your own life and friends over there. But that doesn’t change the way we feel about each other. We’re growing together, not a part. Things are changing, but we are changing with them. Don’t give up on us yet, now is the time that we need each other the most. It’s like……..the world will always be changing around us until we’re old and gray, but we’ll always know that we’ll have each other. You’re still my Ex #4ers, and I’m still your Cryssal. No amount of parties, music, or residence is going to change that.
I’ll love you forever.
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One Response to “Dark Place in the Heavens”
October 16th, 2002 at 12:19 am
::hugs:: Honey, I hope you feel better really soon. If you need to talk, you know where to find me.