Halloween Party
Well I went to a Halloween party tonight expecting to have a good old fashioned time. Unfortunately, I didn’t.
I’ve been a part of that pagan group since winter. I’ve met a lot of new friends, and I’ve always enjoyed going with my old pagan friends who I’ve known for years. But tonight I felt completely unwelcomed, and like a swarm of negative energy was following me everywhere.
I am vexed. And I’m just going to spill it all out here, because I’m pretty frustrated right now. The first thing that happens when I walk into the coffee house, is I have people asking me “Why are you mad at Jeanie?” “What did you do to Jeanie?” etc. And about 5 different people did the same thing throughout the night. Apparently everyone else knew my business, but me. This is what pissed me off the most.
Jeanie and I do have some issues to work out, and yes I have been avoiding the issue until I could figure out a way to approach it in a more -mature- manner where I could explain things so no one would end up hating anyone. Apparently Jeanie has been trying to call me for a while now, but not one message has ever been left on my machine. And I work -all- the time. I work over 40 hours a week on average, I work mornings, I work nights, I work weekends, I even work on my days off a lot. I’m not online hardly anymore, which anyone can tell by my lack of entries, and the fact that I’m -just not here-.
But whatever issues Jeanie and I might have should have stayed that way. Between Jeanie, and myself. Now there is this whole wind of gossip going around, and not only that, but people from the group now know about my journal, which I had no intention of.
The one group of people I felt the most comfortable with, the one that I had the most friends in, and could relate to the most, I feel like I can’t even be around due to scrutiny for shit I don’t even know about. I want to work things out, I want to be a part of the group again, but what in the world am I supposed to do now? And you know what? I wasn’t the only one that noticed all of the bad vibes about the whole situation tonight.
Besides the soap opera I did enjoy seeing my friends again, I enjoyed the ceremony honoring the dead. It is unfortunate that I felt unwelcomed and that I had to leave early. I hope that this gets resolved so we can be pagans that support each other, like we used to be. I had no idea when I brought Jeanie to the group not long ago that this is what would happen. Lets just hope this gets straightened out soon.
*sigh*
I don’t know what the fuck to do, Ex #4 and I are still having problems, work is going downhill quickly, the pagan group I take part in seems to be pushing me out, what else do I have left to hold on to?
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2 Responses to “Halloween Party”
October 25th, 2002 at 11:20 pm
Aww.. *hugs*
October 26th, 2002 at 4:09 am
I am so sorry people were asking you about this . . . I had talked to Dani and Sin about it, just trying to find out what I had done/said, and I thought maybe you had mentioned it to them. I had no intention for rumors to be flying. You have my sincerest apologies.
I don’t hate you - how could I? I consider you one of my closest friends - but I would just like to know what I did to hurt you. Please explain it to me so I can fix it. I did leave a message on your machine - I have no idea why you didn’t get it.
I’m sorry that all this shit had to go down - just please talk to me about it.