Died in my arms
I just had the most fucked up night of my life.
A couple and their 10 year old son came in to work today to put down their dog, Licorice. I had spoken with the mother on and off all day because she wanted to know things like, whether or not the dog could be taken off of IV’s for a picture or two before put to sleep, for the son, and the son would be taking the pictures. Not to mention the son was terribly upset, understandably.
Anyway, I see them come in, and they decided not to put Licorice down tonight, because the son was just too upset.
Then all of a sudden while they’re standing there getting ready to leave, the father collapses face first onto the floor. There’s blood coming from his mouth, his wife and son are screaming and yelling with panic. One of the other receptionists go to get a Doctor and I grab the phone and call 911 while trying to make my way over to him. The dispatcher walks me through everything I need to do while we wait for the paramedics to arrive. I’ve already taken a few classes on CPR so I have like a VERY BASIC idea of what to do, but when something like this happens, your mind goes blank anyways. Meanwhile this guy, who is a very very big guy, is turning fucking blue. We roll him over, start to administer CPR, and he ‘appears’ to be breathing.
I was so scared, because I knew there was nothing I could really do besides the CPR. Eventually the paramedics arrive, they take over with all this hi-tech equipment, and we basically just pace around and wait. After about half an hour they put him in the ambulance and rush him to the hospital. But before they leave one of them came back and thanked us for doing such a good job, but that he was dead before they even got there from a massive heart attack. So at some point this man died in our fucking arms.
All I could do was call my dad up to make sure he was okay, pack up my shit, and cry all the way home.
You just don’t realize, you know? You could be walking down the fucking street and suddenly just be gone. When he walked in the fucking door he didn’t know that in 20 minutes he’d be dead. I just don’t even know what to think at this point. All I could do was think about my dad and Ex #4.
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10 Responses to “Died in my arms”
November 5th, 2002 at 2:13 pm
man.. im so sorry you had to go through something like that. I can’t even imgine it myself..
Yeah, it does make you realize though you gotta live everyday to the fullest, cause you never know when your number is up..
November 5th, 2002 at 11:42 pm
Crys, honey . . . God, when I read your email on the pagan list, I had no idea you had actually been the one doing the CPR. You did all you could. That’s not one of those things you can just forget, but hopefully it will become easier to deal with.
xoxo
November 6th, 2002 at 5:03 am
*hugs* Most people would freeze up in that situation, but you acted right away and did everything that you could. Don’t second guess yourself? Take care.
November 6th, 2002 at 8:04 am
That’s horrific, I can’t imagine being able to react as rationally as you did in that sort of situation. I t must have been a horrible experience, blessings to that poor family. However you did all you could which is more than most people would have done in similar circumstances.
November 6th, 2002 at 1:25 pm
Crys that is awful. I would have been terrified. It does make you realize that life is short. I hope you’re doing better.
November 6th, 2002 at 1:55 pm
Holy wow! What can you say to something like that?! Crys … I wish I could hold you right now and tell you it’ll all be okay. But, we both know better.
That must have a truly awful experience for you. And not one you’ll soon forget. All my love. Get well soon.
November 6th, 2002 at 1:56 pm
::notes that the get well soon sounded like she was sick:: I meant feel better soon.
November 7th, 2002 at 6:32 pm
I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say.
November 7th, 2002 at 9:49 pm
Sweet Goddess… Crys, I’m so sorry. I wish I could offer some wisdom, some solace. I’m sorry. That’s all I have to offer.
November 10th, 2002 at 7:41 am
Wow that’s some intense shit to have to go through. It just shows that you need to live up and take advantage of ever second of your life because it can be gone in the blink of an eye. Hope you feel better, take care. Lovely site by the way. Very peaceful