We had an emergency come into work yesterday. A little Jack Russel Terrior had been shot by a 22. Poor thing didn’t make it. It was really sad. I don’t know how anyone can treat animals like that. Just out of cruelty.

Things with Ex #4 are going okay, it’s nice to be able to talk things out with him. He’s so sweet sometimes
I need to compile a list of songs to play at the Irish Moon Coffee House, and I just don’t know what to play. A few classic rock and folk rock probably. Then I need to get together with Chris regularly and practice before I actually play a set for everyone. I’m kinda nervous, but I shouldn’t be because I’m at least -somewhat- talented.

I hate working so much I don’t get time to update anything, I don’t get time to work on my MUD, I don’t get time to clean my room, spend time with my sister, or even sit down and read a book or play a video game. I work 6 days a week, and the day I have off is spent doing things I needed to do but couldn’t because I had to work. It’s really starting to suck. I miss my sister, I miss Ex #4, I miss my friends. I want a regular 9 to 5 job so I can have a fucking -life- for crying out loud. 3pm to 10pm has to be one of the most crappiest hours because you can’t really do much after work, and I sleep in so I don’t have time to do anything -before- work.

We have this crazy lady that comes into work named Rose White. She comes in -every- day, sometimes just to talk to people because I think she’s lonely. She thinks everyone is out to kill her including the mafia. She makes up weird stories to make herself feel important. Like how some guy she knew used to come into Pizza hut and crap in his pants and then shake it out and leave it on the floor……..mkay.

I’m just bored, don’t mind me.

I must say that giving gifts sure does excite me more than receiving. I only received about 3 gifts this year because my father had no money, and I don’t really have anyone else to buy for me. Besides the few solstice gifts that Sati got me. But I was able to splurge a lot of money on my dad and my sister, and their smiles were well worth it.

My best gift, and one I will cherish for the rest of my life, was Ex #4 telling me that no one has ever made him feel the way I do, and that he wanted nothing more than to be with me again. So I got my Ex #4ers back.
It’s snowing pretty bad out. I love having a White Holiday.

I found out from Vernon, that, with all of my moms bitching about not having Sister last night for Christmas Eve, my mother is already going to have her for the next week so I don’t know what the hell she’s bitching about. Claiming that we’re trying to sabatoge her relationship with Sister. Whatever.

I’m going to take a quick nap, eat some turkey, take a shower, and go to work. Be safe and enjoy each other.

Another holiday greeting, thank you sK!

I am now a strong believer that this time of year is especially magical. I go to sleep and wake up with the same content smile. The past month has been rather difficult, with losing Jeff, and dealing with his attitude towards me. But the past week, he has been that little fire in my life. I think it started out as just playful flirting, but now? It’s as if we’re a couple again. He’s still confused about what to do, as am I, but I believe we both are happy the most when we’re together. And he’s too special to me to ever push him into a decision. Just hearing him tell me he loves me makes everything okay. I love you.

We had a holiday party at work yesterday, lots of food and gifts. My boss, who I firmly believed had no compassionate bones in his body anywhere, gave me a card with a $50 bill in it, so I was pleasantly surprised. My secret santa gave me a Russian herbal tea set with crystal sugar stirring sticks and a porcelin tea pot.

I had a wonderful day at the Solstice party on Sunday. We feasted, drank meade, gathered with many friends, drummed for hours in front of the bonfire under the moon, and felt like our ancestors must have celebrating the rebirth of the sun. It was very magical. It makes me wish I had a coven to do small rituals with on a regular basis. My friend Sati gave me a beautiful patchouli candle and a spell kit she made to find true love and happiness. Inside it had three candles, some homemade incense, and a flask of oil with a tiny tigers eye stone in it. I was very touched. I gave her a jar of dragons blood, a stick of coal to burn it with, and a small flask for oils.

Right now my life couldn’t be more perfect. Well, if I was able to see my sister tomorrow morning to open gifts, it’d be better, and if Jeff were here, I’d be in heaven. But for now, I am perfectly content. And I owe it to Jeff.

My mother is a complete and utter FUCKTARD, I swear.

I went with Vernon all the way down Baltimore, which is over an hour drive, to meet my mother, to pick up my Sister. As soon as we get there, my mother and her new fucktard husband pull up. I get out of the car, to go get Sister, and she’s sitting in the backseat in -tears-.

My mom rolls down her window and tells me that I can’t have Sister because Vernon isn’t supposed to be at the switches. I was like bull fucking shit he’s not supposed to be here, he’s always been here. I told her that Pete (her idiot husband) is the one who isn’t supposed to be at the switches because he’s a god damn criminal and keeps threatening to kill me.

So she says that the court said Vernon wasn’t supposed to be there, and Pete IS supposed to be there, and while Pete is driving off she says I can’t have Sister.

I ran after the car because I was beyond pissed off and all I remember is yelling profanities in many different forms. Sister is in the back waving for me, crying because my mom and Pete won’t let her see me.

We went to Vernons apartment and called his lawyer after that and she said that what my mom did was bogus, so she’s going to call my moms lawyers. I need to get ahold of some judge or something because this shit is just ridiculous.

If she tries this shit during Christmas, I swear I will do something very serious that I will regret.

Look what Em made for me! She’s so gorgeous, I absolutely love it Em. Thank you -so- much.

Everyone has been so nice to me lately. I don’t know why but it feels really good for a change. People from work buying me gifts and giving me cards, people online making me things like that, and sending me e-cards.

Oh, and thank you Sarah for the gorgeous e-card
Merry Solstice!