Feeling a lot better today, a -lot- better. Jeff did something absolutely amazing for me yesterday that has my spirits soaring. We both agree that we feel so much closer now. I guess this is what you call twitterpated

My lawyer called yesterday. The reason I haven’t heard anything is because the woman she has to consult with is on Maternity leave until Monday, so she’ll call me Monday morning. She told me to keep appealing the decision from the Department of Labor, which I will. In the mean time the job search still ensues. I have plenty of faith I’ll find something.

For those that haven’t been paying attention to Cherish, a lot of drama has been going on there this week. I think it’s finally over though, and for the best. I can’t express enough how special my hostees, past and present, are to me.

I guess I’m just starting to feel that uphill climb again. That’s what my life is, a bunch of ups and downs. It’s much harder to climb up than it is to fall down, but right now I feel perfectly content in the midst of chaos. Hopefully I’ll be stronger for the next ride down.

You know, it really sucks how low people can be to each other. This girl Linda, the one that got me fired because she took money from my drawer, she has almost ruined any chance for me to find another job. I just don’t understand how people can be so cruel. How people can live with themselves.

I got denied unemployement today, because of the reason I was fired. Fired for something I didn’t even do. I’ll probably never be able to find a job outside of McDonalds now. I’ll never be able to raise children because I can’t provide for them, and I’ll never again have to worry about returning to college to better myself because I’ll never be able to afford it anyway.

I think all I need now is for my mother to get custody of my sister and maybe grow an addiction to heroin and maybe I’ll have hit rock bottom.

Maybe.

Friday Five:

1. If you had the chance to meet someone you’ve never met, from the past or present, who would it be?

I think we all know the answer to this one
2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?

Oh the medieval times certainly, though it would have its advantages and disadvantages

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?

hrm, this one is tough, there are so many places I would want to live, Tibet, Thailand, Egypt, Ireland, Scotland, Illinois. But most importantly, anywhere Ex #4 was.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?

Gabrielle from the Xena series. Someone who was highly respected and honored by her peers for being so worldy, understanding, caring, and accepting, but also developed into a strong warrior in body and soul. And I wish I looked as good as she did in clad warrioress clothing!

5. If you had to live with having someone else’s face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?

Good question, and I don’t really have an answer, even after 10 minutes of sitting here debating. I don’t think there is anyone else I’d rather look like in the face. I like mine

Haven’t really felt like writing anything, that and there hasn’t been much going on. As far as the cat was concerned, apparently it was put down only an hour after I posted the entry. I tried to find a loophole so that the cat could live, but sometimes things just aren’t fair. The guy who had planned on taking the cat home, is going to call Animal Rights on her. It’s just stupid and selfish to kill a cat when there is NOTHING wrong with it and a good home wants to adopt it. Thank you to everyone who left comments with concerns for the cat. At least I’m hopeful that there are people who actually care about animals.

I was able to spend some time with my sister, we mostly went to Pizza Hut with my friends, watched some movies and played some video games. I’m going to try to get her this Sunday as well because there is a Spring Equinox ritual down at the Druids Grove and hopefully they’ll have some fun games for children and adults alike. I plan to take about 2 or 3 dozen devilled eggs (moms recipe) to celebrate the season and donate about 3 dozen fresh eggs to the grove.

Ex #4’s spring break is next week, I was supposed to go out to see him for the week but with losing my job, I’ve been reconsidering because what money I have now is ALL the money I have until I get another job. If I spend more than half of it, I don’t think I’ll have enough to last me until then We have everything planned and ready to go. I feel really guilty about it and I know Ex #4 is frustrated, so am I. I just hope it doesn’t cause us any problems, that’s my biggest fear right now. It’s not like we won’t have any other opportunities, right?

The weather here has been wonderful. Fall and Spring have to have the best sunrises and sunsets ever. I don’t get to see much of the sunrises anymore, but I try to catch every sunset I can. I love seeing the sky lit up in bright reds, pinks, oranges, yellows, purples, and blues. It’s a shame more people don’t take the time to experience it. Sometimes when I catch a sun setting, I think of how wonderful it would be to just chase the sun for a little while and eventually I’d end up in Illinois with Ex #4. One can hope anyway. Our time will come.

I’ve been planning a banishing ritual, I think it’s going to be pretty complex. I’m hoping Sati or one of the other witches from the Grove are willing to do it with me. I just feel like it’s time to get rid of a lot of the negative energy in my life. And with the new buds of spring approaching, it would be a great time to get rid of it -now-. Problems with finances, problems with my job, divorcing “Ex #1″, all of the problems Ex #4 and I had in the past, just everything I can think of that I want to release so I can welcome all of the good energy into my life. A new job, a better and more secure relationship with Ex #4, new friends, etc.

Smile

It’s weird how even though I’m not working there anymore, I still feel involved with work and people still come to me asking questions about how things are supposed to be. A woman who is a regular at the vet, brought a cat in about 2 weeks ago because it had bit her while she slept. She was afraid it had rabies and wanted us to do a rabies test. For those that don’t know, rabies tests require you not only to kill the animal, but to chop its head off. Well, let me tell you, this cat is the most gorgeous cat I have -ever- seen. That’s not an exaggeration. Everyone at work fell in love with the cat, so we convinced the owner to let us quarantine the cat for 10 days to see if it was in fact, infected with rabies. 10 days ended Sunday, and the cat is fine. We played with the cat the entire time and it never once showed any sign of aggression. A couple from work, who are hardcore animal lovers, decided they wanted to adopt the cat. They would definitely provide it with a good home.

Well now I’m hearing from work that the woman is demanding to come in and have the cat put down today, and she wants to be present, and take the body home. Her reasoning is “Well I just can’t sleep thinking he might bite someone else. And I don’t know if he’ll be abused.” So she’d rather just kill the fucking cat instead? I’m trying to figure out any loophole I can to stop this cat from dying. It’s ridiculous, cruel, and childish. I think the woman just doesn’t want anyone else to have the cat, but isn’t willing to keep the cat herself. It’s really pathetic. I’m so pissed.

I’m going to call the head doctor tonight and leave a message on his voicemail about me wanting my job back, since he owns the hospital. I have to figure out what it is exactly I want to say.

Ex #4 and I seem to be doing okay. Better anyways. Sometimes he does things I don’t quite understand, but I guess I’m never really going to, so I’m just not going to bother. I’m tired of always putting forth the effort only to end up nowhere or arguing or being blamed for something. I’m content with our relationship when things aren’t always so damn complicated.

Apparently “Ex #1″ went to talk to my cousin Stephanie for a little bit yesterday. She said he’s really sounding depressed which bothers me. I hate the fact that I’m hurting him, but I really don’t have a choice you know? I want a divorce, and he doesn’t. I wanted a divorce long before Ex #4 and I ever met. I just don’t know how to stop this from hurting him. What am I supposed to do? Maybe I should just sit down and have a heart to heart with him.

I filed for unemployment today over the internet. Ugh, for some reason it makes me feel bad doing it. I’ve never been one to go on unemployment or welfare or anything like that. I like supporting myself, I like being strong and independant. And the LAST thing I EVER want ot do is be dependant on our government. *snort*

I got the phone number to my old jobs lawyer, so I’m going to call mine today and get this show on the road I’ve been debating on whether or not I really want my old job back. The advantages are, I know the work, and not to sound too conceited, but I know it better than most. And I get paid -halfway- decent. And I love the friends I’ve made there. I’ve built up such a relationship with Coryn that I’d trust her with my life. I really would. We’re like two peas in a pod. On the other hand, I hated the hours, and I wasn’t fond of working 6 days a week. I never got to see my sister and it took time away from Ex #4 and my friends. I want a nice 9 to 5, 5 day a week job. Instead of 6, sometimes 7 days a week, 3 to 10 and sometimes later. And then there were periods where I’d work 3 weeks in a row without having off because I’d have to fill in for people. And I’ve done 13 hour days and 26 hour weekends before. But beggers can’t be choosey, right?

<3

Apparently a lot of shit has hit the fan since I was fired on Tuesday. The woman who fired me (who, by the way, has only been there two weeks), apparently threatened another employee who was investigating things for me. She basically said “If you tell anyone, anything, you’re fired.” So I’m a bit suspicious about that…. Also all of the employees are in an uproar at me being fired. They are apparently all banning together to speak with the company lawyer to get this Laura girl fired for firing me and threatening other employees. They’re all rooting for me to take legal action, so I believe that I will I’m just worried if I sue the company it might affect all of my friends. And I don’t want that.

I haven’t done much of anything, partying with a few friends, spending time with Ex #4, working on my MUD, and pretty much just enjoying this time off. Still haven’t called unemployment because I keep forgetting.

I found out a client from work passed away. This is sad news. She used to bring her cat Pumpkin in all of the time and I swear he was the best, most well-mannered cat, I’ve ever seen.

The day after I was fired, the temperature rose to almost 50 degrees and I enjoyed standing out under the sun, feeling the warmth. Almost like a new beginning for me. I nice change from the usual 12-18 degrees.

Dearest Sarah. I am so sorry about what you are going through. I have been there twice myself. The pain you are feeling should never be felt by anyone. But you are a strong, independant woman. And you’re life will never be over as long as you have faith. Faith in yourself, and faith in that beautiful baby boy the Goddess has blessed you with. We’re all standing by you. I love you <3