Job interview tomorrow. 9:15am. Full-time Vet Receptionist, $10 an hour with benefits, Mon-Fri 7am to 3pm.

Wish me luck.

I had a rough morning. I woke up and saw my squirrel having seizures. I pick him up, if I didn’t see him breathing ever so faintly, I would have sworn he was dead. His body temperature was cold, and he would have small seizures every so often. I was scared. Even cried a little. But I stayed calm, dug out a hotwater bottle and some formula. Held him between my chest and the water bottle along with a thick fur blanket and rubbed his back and tummy over so often to warm him up and stimulate circulation. A good half our later he was 95% better. Right now he seems fine. I didn’t realize how cold it must have gotten last night, it didn’t feel like it to me, but I’m going to take more precautions as far as temperature from now on.

Going to help Sati set up some camping stuff tomorrow, and then we’re both going to head up Friday Night. I need a serious break. At least things are starting to look up for me. If I get this job I will be ecstatic.

Things with Ex #4 are a bit uncomfortable right now though. I sent him a song that really touched me today, hoping he’d feel the same sentiment, even if the song wasn’t ‘good.’ And he told me in a fit of anger that the song sucked, sentiment or not. I’m guessing he doesn’t realize how much that hurts. I sent him a poem a few weeks ago and he either does the same thing, or ignores it. Maybe I just shouldn’t try to be sentimental. It doesn’t seem to do anything anyway. I can be content with that. I think he’s just frustrated with school, I just wish I wasn’t always the scapegoat. But I’m used to being a punching bag anymore between my mother, my grandmother, and Ex #4.

This is sort of a really silly but needed request. I am in desperate need of a job, and I found the perfect one in the paper that pays $10 an hour Mon-Fri 7am-3pm with benefits. If you guys, especially my pagan friends, could send some severe good luck energy my way I would be hella appreciative.

<3

My motivation is the pits. Do you have any idea how pathetic it is for me to be sitting here, just wasting away. I know I should be calling around for jobs but I don’t ‘feel’ like it. I know I should throw myself in the shower, get dressed, and go out and get some needed supplies (shampoo, etc). But no, I just sit here, staring at my computer screen like an idiot.

Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on myself. I did just wake up. Then again this isn’t the only time this has happened.

What a world we have evolved too, waking up every morning and the very first thing we do is check our e-mail. Welcome to cyberspace, please hang on. And that’s all we ever do, hang off of text written across the screen as if our life were nothing more than a few pixels and online tests. Heck I know some people who check their e-mail every hour. I wonder how many people go outside to check their mailbox every hour?

Don’t even get me started on the latest fashion trends. Pajamas, swept up hair, no make-up, maybe not even a shower since two days ago. No need, no one on the other side of this big grey box would know or care.

And cleanliness? If we didn’t have the pyramid of soda cans on our desk with an empty plate of dinner from 4 nights ago, I’m beginning to think we’d feel out of place. (Mind you, the dinner is microwaved).

I really shouldn’t say these things tho. I do love the internet. I love having so much information at my fingertips, I love being able to talk to Ex #4 everyday and not pay 10 cents a minute (even tho I probably do call him every day :P). I love my friends, I love playing MUDs. I’m just bitter at the lack of motivation it gives some people. Like myself. If only it weren’t so addicting.

My father went to the doctor the other day. It appears he is having heart problems again. And with his current weight, his doctor says he is at high risk of a heart attack. I can’t deal with that, I don’t even want to -think- about it. So we’re going to go on a strict diet since I really should be eating better than I do anyway. No more eating past 6pm, no more pizza…..even though we broke that rule last night *sigh*. My father is addicted to potato chips and loves to eat a nice country breakfast every morning at the local country restaurant.

Next weekend is camping! I think getting back to my pagan roots will be good for me.

Found a name: Lord Hickaroo

Inside joke between me and my friend Myk.

My search for proper employment still leaves me emptyhanded. Everyone is looking for kennel help, but that’s not necessarily what I want. I’d like to do Vet Tech work, and if I have to move up a chain to get there, then I guess that’s what I’ll have to settle for. I want to know how help animals moreso than taking care of them in everyday procedures. I’ve done that all my life so I’m quite aware of how much to feed an animal and what to look for. But medicines and fecal floats and urine cultures, that’s where I want to expand myself.

The hours are going to have to be a factor too. I don’t think I can handle another 3pm-10pm 6day a week job. Especially one where there are weeks that I don’t have a single day off at all. Lets hope I get lucky.

I have been blessed with another gift. Some of you may remember the Baby Hawk, “Comanche,” I found last year. Which by the way I do see every so often dive-bombing the neighbors for fun. Well this year it appears to be a baby squirrel. Due to our neighbors we have an excessive number of felines running around and there was no way that this squirrel was climbing any tree. I saw him earlier this morning around 10am and decided to sit outside for an hour or so to see if I could catch him. Unfortunately he didn’t return but later on my father found him while feeding our rabbits. As I type this, he is nestled comfortably on my bosom, sleeping like a baby. My father is out buying puppy formula, a cc marked dropper, and some gatorade (in case he is dehydrated). I spent a good portion of an hour doing some research on squirrels since this will be my first. My Vet experience comes in handy too, which is good. I just wish I had more
Anyway, I haven’t found a name for him yet, any ideas?

I think my poison ivy is finally dying off. I hope it’s completely gone by the time I go camping. My friend Sati sent an e-mail to the Druids list talking about how this camping trip is going to be an escape from our mundane lives where we get to forget about bills and electronics and the internet and just dig our feet into the ground, enjoying life and spring. It was really inspiring and has me even more psyched. I am going to cheat though, I’m going to keep my cellphone in my truck for emergencies, and so I can talk to Ex #4
I found this story about an amazing death-defying dog from Teresa’s site. Absolutely amazing.

And for those who aren’t easily offended, check out some Furniture Porn.

Well, after a good day of hefty work on Saturday, lifting logs, hauling rocks with my bronco, I have official received poison ivy on both arms. Most of it seems to be between my fingers which is probably one of the most annoying places to scratch. But it’s well worth it (I’m saying that now..)

I felt oddly enough at home when I was at the farm. Reaching the top of the hill (which is the highest point in the county - hence, Ed’s Farms), and looking out over everything was just amazing. I’d love to just lay there one night looking up at the stars. It is unfortunate that there are one or two people in the group there that I can’t seem to get along with or feel comfortable around. It tends to ruin the mood.

My sister stopped by yesterday to give me another late birthday gift. It’s this steel lamp with a little socket in the center for a tea-light candle and a beautiful silver beaded lampshade. I convinced her father to let her stay over and watch Harry Potter 2 with me while he ran some errands. Unfortunately my mom caught whiff of this when she called his house and his nephew said that Sister was over here. See, mom had called previously (which you can read in the previous entry), saying that Vernon wasn’t allowing her to see Sister at all this weekend. I told her that I probably wouldn’t be seeing her either. Little did I know that they were going to stop by and I was going to have Sister all day Sunday *chuckle*. So mom calls and leaves a nasty message asking why I lied to her and basically saying that I’m destroying her relationship with Sister. Go figure.

You know it’s not like she bothered to call in the AM to wish Sister a Happy Easter. She had to wait until 4 or 5pm to do it, by that time the day was already over and Sister was already on her way home.

Ex #4 is very ill right now. Saturday was supposed to technically be a ‘make-up’ day for him missing out on my birthday. Obviously that didn’t work out. And he didn’t even bother to call me Sunday at all. He hopped online for a few minutes to get some Final Fantasy 10 tips for his sister, so I know he was up and about doing something. He swore he’d call before he went to bed. And he didn’t.

I honestly don’t know what to think. I certainly am not blaming him for being sick. But I don’t know how to let him know how disappointed I get without making him feel guilty. All I want is when he says he’s going to do something, to just do it. Saturday was an exception because he was sick. But I’m talking about in general. This happens too frequently and it’s really starting to bother me. I hope he feels better soon, and I hope things between us get better then.

I changed the layout for my guestbook a bit, need to tweak it some, maybe change the colors, but it just needed something different. I was going to add some more of my music but I think my mic is busted. I’ll see what I can do though, I’ve been itching to finish a few things on here.