Been thinking about life again (aren’t I always?). Right now I feel like, even if I do get a job, that I don’t have the skills to work my way into college, into Veterinary School, and to actually become a Vet. It’s just such a hard to reach goal and my luck really doesn’t give me much hope right now. I feel like I’ll be stuck at a $10 an hour job for the rest of my life, and that’s pretty disheartening.

But I was talking to Myk tonight, and he had me download this song by Rocky Votolato called “Suicide Medicine.” He said he was at this show one night, and this plain modest looking guy walked up on stage, with his guitar and a small amp, and a wedding ring on his left finger. And he’s like “Hey Guys, My name is Rocky.” And he starts playing his music, and you can tell his lyrics are real personal, he didn’t really write them to be poetic and he didn’t really have anything to say. He was just singing and playing his guitar, and he was doing it for himself. And he sings about his own experiences and feelings. And apparently this guy makes a living off of just going around and playing his guitar.

So Myk is trying to convince me to do the same thing. He says I have the voice and the ear for it. And I used to write music in highschool but kinda stopped, I’m not sure why. I suppose I could try to spill out my life and feelings into music. I mean it’s not like I don’t have anything to write about
That totally changes my career focus though. Am I willing to do that? I mean I haven’t even started on my Veterinary Career yet really except working at Veterinary Hospitals. And I’d still like working with animals.

I guess it’s worth a shot. Who knows, maybe I can make a career out of my music and my guitar. And maybe I’ll get shows in Illinois

I’ve decided to do some research on what type of Digital Camera I want. I’d like to have one that has the large picture viewer thing (I don’t know what they are called), and I’d like one that can be used in any lighting circumstance, whether it’s in the sun, nighttime, cloudy day, yet still takes crisp, clear pictures. I’d prefer a price range of $300 and to be honest, I like the name of the “Digital Elph” but I’ll settle for anything that is good. I want one that will let me take a lot of pictures without having to go unload them all after a short period of time, but quality of picture in all situations is the most important.

I know several of you are all into photography and what not, so any input is really appreciated.

I wish I had a camera right now. A bunch of the neighborhood kids are over, running around our front yard, while my dad picks cherries from our cherry tree for them, and they spit seed at each other. It’s kinda cute. My dad is like the neighborhood old man that the kids come to learn from and watch. Though I think my cousin Stephanie and I ate all the good cherries yesterday and spit seeds at each other.

I’d give anything for a camera.

Got a letter that said this in the mail today:

The claimant was discharged from Owings Mills Animal & Bird Hospital on 06-05-03 based on background information received from prior employer. Insufficient information has been presented to show that the claimant’s actions constituted misconduct in connection with the work. As a result, it is determined that the circumstances surrounding the seperation do not warrant a disqualification under section 8-1002 or 8-1003 of the Maryland Unemployment Insurance Law. Benefits are allowed, if otherwise eligable.

So I guess that means I was accepted for unemployment? God I hope so. I need to find a good job so I can sue the ass of these people that fired me.

My room is so different, I wish I could explain how good it feels to have a clean room for once. I mean it seriously lets all the positive energy flow so much better.

I’ve been in a very bitchy mood the past few days, I’m not sure why but a lot of people have been feeling the brunt of it. I need to calm down or I’m going to hurt the people I care about.

Saw this on TV for the first time tonight and I am in absolute awe. I have never seen anything so beautiful.

Sorry if these take a bit to load, I’m not very good with minimizing picture sizes

I also have a picture of my desk and my altar.

Okay I’m slightly pissed.

Just got my call from unemployment. The lady said she tried to call my old boss to investigate why I was terminated. But apparently my boss wouldn’t talk to her, or wasn’t available, or something stupid like that. So she talked to his wife instead. Lets keep in mind that I’ve never met his wife, his wife had NOTHING to do with the business, and who is she to give any type of report on me anyway?

His wife apparently told unemployment that the reason I was terminated was because I falsified my timecard. I had to laugh. Their time cards are computer generated. You click ‘CHECK IN’ when you come to work and you click ‘CHECK OUT’ when you leave. There’s no way to falsify your time card because Dr Slovon is the one keeping track of them all!

So I told the unemployment lady all of this, that it was entirely bogus, and I think she pretty much agreed with me because she said she couldn’t understand what Dr. Slovon’s wife was saying anyway.

So I think things are pretty much in my favor. But it really pisses me off that they would lie about something like that.

YOU FIRED ME AND GAVE ME NO SINGLE SOLITARY REASON FOR IT. Face it, you fucked up. And believe me, when I get another job, I’m going to make sure you know it.

And I thought I had a reason to report them before…this is just the icing on the cake. And I still have to sue the 24 hour hospital too for slander and defamation of character.

Ugh.

Whew, I’m nervous. Just got a call from unemployment and did my ‘interview.’ My case sounded good when she read it back to me. That Dr. Slovon fired me after one month of employment after calling my previous employer up again (for reasons unknown), and he said that after speaking with them (and not telling me WHY he was firing me), that I just couldn’t work there anymore. Seems pretty unfair to me. Hopefully they’ll decide in my favor and I’ll at least have unemployment coming in until I find a new job. I need new work clothes, I’ll need gas, I need to eat and pay bills until then.

So, any positive thoughts my way are wellllllll appreciated right now.

Ex #4 and I are having a hard time right now, I want so much to let it all out here, but he’ll read it and get mad at me, so I’m not sure what to do. I know very well I’m not in the wrong here, I guess I kinda want to see what people think. *sigh*

I took down my journal archives because they weren’t working past February for some reason. I think I’ll work on converting everything to MT now, so I at least have my damn archives. I need them to keep record of everything my mom does so I have it ready for court. Might come in useful for this employment stuff too.

Friday Five

1. Is your hair naturally curly, wavy, or straight? Long or short?

Naturally straight and long. Tried the perm thing in middle school, never worked tho
2. How has your hair changed over your lifetime?

I was born a troll. Everyone tells me when I was born I had a big blonde tuft of hair on the very top of my head. It was always very thick, very straight dirty blonde when I was younger, mom used to give me bangs and pigtails. When I hit middle school it started to darken slightly, and I permed it oh…..maybe 3 times. I finally decided NO MORE PERMING and I wanted the bangs to grow out. When I high my Sophmore year of highschool, I started highlighting. Have been ever since. Now it’s just plain straight blonde, no bangs, and sometimes I can get it wavy if I want it to be.

3. How do your normally wear your hair?

Just down. See above.

4. If you could change your hair this minute, what would it look like?

A lot longer, perfectly straight like when I was little, and without split ends.

5. Ever had a hair disaster? What happened?

Uh, not really. Unless you call “finally waking up and realizing permed hair on me was blech” a hair disaster.

I really don’t see why aaaaanyone would care about my hair, don’t think I like these Friday Five questions