Polyamory
Being monogamous when you are around polyamorous people is very intimidating. I’ve sat on several occasions and listened to my poly friends talk about the freedom of not dealing with relationships. Of having multiple sexual partners and liking the ’spice’ it adds to their lives. One of my friends was even making it sound nice not having anyone but yourself to worry about. Living for yourself and not having your world revolve around someone else.
At times it even makes me feel selfish because I’m not poly. Because I want -one- partner and I refuse to share. I don’t like the thought of sharing my partner with anyone else. And I -like- the idea of getting so close to someone, that you can almost read their thoughts. I like having that closeness that I’ve never had except with Ex #4.
Sometimes I do wonder what I’m missing out on. The freedom to go be wild and spontaneous. Othertimes I’m glad I am the way I am. I’m glad I have someone close to my soul, someone I can count on at any given time and not have to worry about their other partners. Someone I know to be safe, not just physically, but mentally. I don’t have to worry about STD’s or mind games, which I’ve seen several of my poly friends have to deal with.
This is of course not to say it happens to all of them. Most of my friends are very safe.
Either way, I still wonder if sometimes I’m some emotional waterfall because I’m monogamous. I hope not.
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2 Responses to “Polyamory”
September 6th, 2003 at 2:09 am
The wild spontaneous image of poly folk is an image!
Most people in poly relationships have to do a lot more planning and thinking and communicating than mono types. I of course, am single and therefore perfect. 
But really, mono or poly is fine. Whatever works for you is what works! Don’t let us polyfolk get ya down.
You can also look on it as a learning experience. It’s kinda fun to NOT be in the minority for a change (for me). I would never ever push poly on someone- I may talk about it and answer questions though. Poly is not easier than mono. Poly is not for everyone.
Okay. disjointed response. i blame the cold meds.
September 6th, 2003 at 10:02 pm
Yes, I agree, being poly is a lot more work than it first seems. To make it work, in or out of a relationship, you have to communicate, be honest, be truthful (especially to yourself), be upfront. Things that should happen in all relationships become more important.
If you’re interested, check out “The Ethical Slut.” It has really good tips for monogomous relationships too.