Dad is sick again
My father is sick again. He’s had a very bad cough for a few days now, and of course the slightest bit of illness has my stomach in knots when it comes to him. It was really bad last night, I could hear him up coughing and hacking and gagging all night.
Tonight isn’t so bad…but I worry because he plans to go mow a christmas tree farm tomorrow and I really don’t want him doing any type of work, especially away from home.
He’s going to do it anyway, I can’t stop him no matter what I say. But what if something happens while he’s out there? I pray that it doesn’t.
I don’t know, I’m very scared and protective when it comes to my father. And even if we’ve never had the ‘I love you’ relationship, he still means the world to me. I respect him more than anyone I’ve ever met and admire him more than most people. Just writing me has me welling up in tears because of my respect for my father.
It just isn’t fair all of the shit he has to go through. What my mom did to him, stealing money from him, causing him to live in his dump we call a home. Him being screwed out of any retirement or life insurance or even health insurance. He has nothing, absolutely nothing but what little implements we keep in this house, what he grows in his garden, and the animals we keep out back.
His simple pleasures include mowing the lawns of our neighbors and going up early mornings to a local country restaurant to talk with old farmers about the ‘good ole days.’
I want with every ounce of my being to be able to take care of him. I don’t want him to ever worry about being put in a nursing home or not have any money when he gets older.
Luckily he’s on disability.
I need him, and I’m very very scared.
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6 Responses to “Dad is sick again”
September 9th, 2003 at 7:50 am
You are a wonderful, wonderful daughter…
September 9th, 2003 at 9:21 am
Your father is so lucky to have someone as devoted and dedicated as you.
If you ever need to talk, I’m always willing to listen.
xoxo
September 9th, 2003 at 11:33 am
Thanks to you both, I appreciate it.
September 9th, 2003 at 3:13 pm
I hope he gets well quickly.
September 9th, 2003 at 5:16 pm
And I’m sure your father has that same admiration and respect for you, Crystal, for all the things you do for him. Much love.
September 9th, 2003 at 7:44 pm
I’m in the same boat Crys-ta-nator.. don’t know what I would do without my father either, just wouldn’t be the same without him around.