The new Harry Potter trailer. Yum Yum. Need to get the other two on DVD.

Virginia emailed me this morning, said that the people at her work were asking if I had any sort of certification (which I don’t because I’m poor). So how typical that I will most likely NOT get the job because I don’t have a little piece of paper saying I know what I ALREADY KNOW.

I wonder if I’m hexed? Nothing ever goes right for me EVER. I try hard to keep up faith that something has to go right sooner or later, and then something worse just happens.

Dad bought me Finding Nemo, so I guess that’s a good thing……

I am faced with a rather difficult decision.

One of my dogs, Curley Sue, has been having seizures lately. She’s a rather old dog, I’d say about 11 years. A maltese/poodle/shih-tzu type mix.

I got her when I was 12, from Precious’ (my grandmothers dog) last litter. She was the runt of the litter of 3, and had curley white hair with reddish hues. Her fat older brother “Bear” still lives with my uncle Ronnie, and her other older brother “Spike” who was the most grotesque of the siblings (he used to hump the old farm cats), passed away recently due to abuse from my aunt and her kids. I personally believe it was heat stroke, due to their lack of any form of shelter for him.

Precious was my grandmothers favorite dog, an old farm dog. I remember Ex #1act call she used to make in order to bring Precious in from the fields. Something close to “Yah! Yah!” I think my father likes having something that, in a way, is passed down from his mother.

I was watching Curley Sue today, and noticed that her ability to work her back legs is beginning to falter. She can still walk, but it’s very unstable. I don’t know if she has these seizures daily yet, but they are often enough to cause some great concern.

I don’t have the money, being unemployed, to have any sort of surgery performed, or to have a daily medication prescribed. I’ve had pets die before, but usually it’s in their sleep, and it’s rather sudden. They’ve never deteriorated health-wise.

So I’m thinking I may have to have her put down.

Left for Cedarlight on Friday with Sati for a Fullmoon Ritual. It was done Wiccan style instead of the usual Druid style, but it was very nice and powerful. For an offering we were drinking white grape juice. Apparently the Priestess also had a chalice of the white grape juice on the altar and later brought it around for us to sip from. But when I drank it, I didn’t recognize it, and I asked her what it was. She said it was the same damn grape juice, except it had been charged during the ritual.

I was like “Daaaaaamn.”

Woke up Saturday, Sati and I worked on a new song that we’e writing for Imbolc. It’s written to the tune of “Shine” by Collective Soul, and we’re writing it about Brigid. I’ll make a recording of it here later.

Had an auction to save Ed’s Farm on Saturday Night. We raised $1143 for the farm, which is excellent. Samhain ritual to follow.

During the Samhain ritual, a group of us (Sati, Ruby, Dani, Alison, Katherina, and myself) stood forward and announced that we were all taking the ADF dedicants program this year. There was also a group of the older women of the grove, who announced they were going to be doing a croning this year. And then they left the group and said we had to close the ceremony. We were all like wtf? I had never participated in a CLG ceremony, so I was nervous, but it was also a very big honor.

I had a wonderful weekend, I’m actually rather disappointed to be home.

Haven’t heard much about my mother. I did hear that Pete is in jail, I don’t know what for yet, but the lawyers are trying to find out. Doesn’t surprise me one bit.

I feel so overwhelmed right now with things to do. Trying to find a job, doing this dedicants program, trying to organize my life, working on my MUD, keeping track of fanlistings.

Have you ever felt like you had so much to do and no idea HOW you’re going to do it all?

About ready to leave here for the weekend again. Sati and I are heading down to spend the weekend at CedarLight. There’s going to be a fullmoon ritual tonight to promote some healing energy, then there’s another Samhain ritual Saturday, and Rites of Caffeina on Sunday. So instead of driving down all three days we’re just going to sleep there.

(BTW: If anyone wanted to see some videos of the Samhain ritual from last weekend, they are on the CedarLight website. But all you can see of me in both videos is the top of my head, cause the camera man was behind me.)

Still no word on the job unfortunately. I need to start looking more. I did start doing some exercising yesterday, I just hope I can keep it up. I’m so tired anymore because of having no energy.

Dad ordered a bunch of shrimp last night so we had a wonderful shrimp dinner while watching Survivor (Damn you for voting off Savage!).

Things are so weird right now, I wish I could explain it.

My friend Sati is doing this journal interview thing, and these were the questions that she asked me.

Music. Why? How? When?
I play music and am interested in performing music because it’s something I feel I can do well. Everyone feels like they have to have a purpose in life, and I’ve pretty much missed all my other opportunities (college, a full-time job), and music is pretty much the ONE thing that people can’t take from me, and that I can do no matter what.

I learned how to play a few basic chords from my friend Steve McGee, who I’ve known (and had a crush on) since 6th grade. He actually asked me out in 7th, but I turned him down. In highschool we met up again and he was such a brilliant musician, and he was so gorgeous. But then he got into drugs, and last I heard has a kid somewhere. But hearing him sing just made me shiver, and I knew that’s what I wanted to do.

What is your favorite pastime that doesn’t involve music?
Honestly, I’d have to say MUDing is one of my favorite past times. Followed closely by when I used to off-road and camp a lot in highschool. Being able to create any persona in a fantasy environment, and pretty much create your own movie, is beyond words.

All time favorite work of fiction?
I honestly don’t read as much as I should. I enjoy the World of Darkness Game setting, and have read a lot of books on Vampires because of the game. I also like the LoTR series, because I’ve always been into the whole ‘fantasy’ genre. Watching Labyrinth, or Legend as a little girl.

Describe your ideal/favorite evening- say no more than 8 hours. Anything goes, no fantasy too impossible to fulfill.
Sheesh I honestly don’t know. I’m not really into the whole walking on the beach thing. I want something wild and exotic.

What is one thing you hope you’re remembered for? Something you hope is forgotten?
I want to be remembered for my music, and that my music came from the heart, not from the money. And I want a few things that are pretty bad that I’ve done in the past to be forgotten. I don’t tend to think about them at all anymore, but occasionally they come back to haunt me.