Gone for good
Well, I told Jeff that I just can’t talk to him anymore. It’s causing too much heartache and pain. Who would have thought it would be so hard to do. After all he’s put me through, all of the horrible HORRIBLE things he’s done to me. I’m still devastated.
Maybe I hoped he would eventually figure out what he’s missing out on. That maybe he’d stop doing all of the things that have been forcing me to suffer for the past two years.
I can’t even think of the words to describe how I feel right now. Like I’m falling and the only padding is the lifeless tears that are dripping from my face. That’s a bad description. The problem is there are no words. Just feelings.
It’s hard to accept that it’s permanently over. Maybe I was hoping he’d straighten up. Fool I was.
The only way I feel as if I can cope with this is to block him out completely. He doesn’t want this, but I don’t know if I can do anything else. It just hurts to talk to him anymore. He thinks we can just be friends, but everytime I talk to him it’s just pain. Nothing but pain. A tornado of old feelings and frustration.
Why couldn’t you just be the same as you used to be? Why did you make so many promises and break all of them? Why wasn’t I good enough to be treated decent?
Does anyone know? Please tell me.
I only pray that my friends can keep me distracted for a while.
His dead and wilted dozen roses are sitting here next to me. How fitting.
Entry viewed times. Posted in Romance
One Response to “Gone for good”
April 27th, 2004 at 6:29 pm
If you’re feeling that much pain then I definitely think you should block him out, give yourself some time to heal and grow without him in your life.. and then maybe if you’re feeling generous once you’ve been able to deal.. you can try to pick up the pieces and try being friends.
Stay strong..