This one was a bit odd.

From what I can remember in the dream, it took place on our old farm. I was a bit younger, early teens perhaps, and I was standing around the back of the house, looking west. There was a line of coyotes that had come up from the dam (where wild dogs were dropped off all the time when I was little anyway), and they were all prowling at the edge of one of our pastures, closest to the house.

At one point, one of the coyotes had come after me. It attacked both of my arms, tearing them up pretty bad, but I was able to get away and run up to the porch, where my father was loading a shotgun. I grabbed one as well and we started to pick them off slowly as they started to surround the house. Eventually both shotguns broke, and they started to close in on us, snarling and growling, nipping at us through the gate around the porch.

And then I woke up?

On a side note, when I was little, my cousins and I were often tree’d by dogs that had been dropped off at the reservoir. And one time when I was about the same age in the dream, two wild dobermans had reached our farm, and were going after our geese. We had shot at it once and missed, and it chased us into the house. It kept growling and tearing at the door to get in, so we snuck around the other side of the house with the gun, and shot it. Had we missed, it probably would have killed us.

The wild dogs at Liberty Reservoir aren’t as common now, but after that day, I won’t go hiking in the woods like that without something to defend myself with.

I spent the weekend down at the Grove for our Winter Solstice celebration. We incorporated a slight Norse symbel style, with boasts and oaths as we passed the drinking horn of plenty (refilled periodically by the Valkyrie of the horn). I made a personal oath to Athena to complete my dedicants program, which I have been severely neglecting with all the other things occupying my time. I’d like to become more involved in my spiritual discovery in general, as well as ADF.

We attempted to do a 24 hour vigil, which I was not capable of doing because I had been up early that day due to work. So I crashed about midnight for 3 hours, and was woken up to partake in more festivities. I suppose we all crashed around 5am. Pictures to soon follow.

The next morning we held our annual Grove Witan meeting complete with Grove elections, and I was elected for another term as Scribe. Actually all of our positions stayed the same, we had no other nominations. I guess things are all well and good in that department, we weren’t really in need of a change.

There is talk and encouragement of me running for Senior Druid after this 2/3 year term is over though. Which I’m not sure I’d be ready for, but we’ll see.

In other news, my office is moving to a new building tomorrow. I’ve spent the last week or so packing up everything, and look forward to the new building. We exchanged gifts today, and all my co-workers got me a little something, which meant a lot.

I noticed when bandaging my fathers leg today that the ulcers seem to be healing. They are less oozy than before.

My bronco died last night while my father was driving home from Pennsylvania. My radiator had a stroke and died, and one of my belts is loose. I’ve spent $70 on parts today, and I will be purchasing a new radiator for $180 tomorrow. I attempted to apply for auto-financing again today, just to see if it’d go through since I received that letter saying I was pre-approved. No dice though, still not approved.

Thinking about switching banks from BB&T. Anyone have any suggestions?

I got served a subpoena yesterday for my sisters new custody trial. I could run through custody trials blindfolded by now I think. This would make the 3rd or 4th time my mom has tried to retain custody back, which she lost in April of 2001. And as usual, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure she doesn’t get it.

It’s set for January 13th, Friday the 13th. I’ll try to take in my conference recorder. Not sure how I’ll sneak it in though.

I did get a chance to talk to my sister on the phone yesterday. She went on and on about her new boyfriend, Dakota. Though we looked virtually the same when we were little, we grew up so differently. Whereas I was worrying about fishing and 4-wheeling, my sister is worrying about boys. Maybe I’ll rub off on her a little bit.

My father and I got our tree yesterday, and I’ve wrapped all my presents. We’ll be setting up the garden Sunday or Monday. Not that I have my camera back yet to take pictures. But I still have the ones from last year.

I also found another picture of me when I was a little tike visiting family in Alabama.

So I came across a website called The Web Archive which keeps archives of websites from ages ago. Including my old domain. The interesting part is on the old domain, was probably the high point of my sisters custody trial. When my mothers husband threatened to kill me and my father, when she finally lost custody and her husband went to jail.

I wasn’t able to pull all the archives, but I did manage to keep some. So I’ve added them into the archives of my new site here, and backdated them (2001-2002). Something to keep for prosterity for when I have to testify in court again.

Surgery for my father has been cancelled. He went for the EKG today and his doctor told him that she wants to put him through a stress test first to make sure he’ll come out of anesthesia. I’m actually kind of relieved, because neither of us wanted to deal with this during the holidays. And I’ve been stressing like crazy about this anyway. In fact I cried when he told me it was cancelled. Then my boss came to talk to me and I just cried some more.

Blar, I feel like sap.

Stress test is scheduled for December 30th.

I hate it when I have dreams about my mother. I suppose since she came up in conversation yesterday, it was bound to happen.

I can’t remember exactly how the dream started out. I was redoing my room, and my little sister and I were sitting on my bed eating chocolates and being silly. My mother had dropped her off and was still there lingering around the house like she normally does.

All of a sudden she starts bringing some of her belongings in, and I ask her wtf she’s doing. She had made a deal out with my dad. That she was moving in, or she would have this place taken from us (sounds oddly familiar when she had our other house taken from us). She would be taking over my dads room, and he would have to sleep outside in a hammock. Our little cottage here is technically a one bedroom house, my dads room is really a large closet, so there would be nowhere else for him to stay.

Well I went off the proverbial handle. I believe in my dream, if my sister was not there, I would have used my own two hands to kill my mother right then and there. Because I wasn’t going to allow her to hurt my father again. Instead, I just screamed. I was angry at my father for letting her do this, I was angry at HER for doing it, so I screamed. I told them that I was packing up and leaving, my father can have my room, because I refuse to have him put outside like this. My fathers eyes were red with tears, and that’s when I woke up.

Damn, just typing this out is making me tear up.

I think the world needs more Bob Rosses in it. I miss those days. Did you ever watch?

I’ll be glad when all this holiday hype is over. I’ve been so busy, I hardly have any time or inclination to work on my MUD.

Dad went and had x-rays and bloodwork done today. He’s gotta get an EKG done tomorrow and then surgery is at 2pm on Friday. My boss gave me the day off and told me to just use my sick hours, since they don’t rollover to next year anyway. I’ll still get paid, which was my big worry. In exchange though I now have to work Saturday till 2pm, which is fine with me.

I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to get him to and from surgery though. There’s supposed to be a large ice storm tomorrow night. I was originally going to take the caddy to drive him to and from, but now I’m more inclined to drive my bronco. But I don’t know if he’ll be able to get up in there after surgery done on his leg. Maybe I can take a 5-gallon bucket or something, I don’t know.

Alex and I have to get a notarized paper signed stating that I am not interested in any financial purchases he makes, since he’s trying to buy a house. I really wish I could just get the divorce over with already. It’s becoming more and more of a pain with taxes and such, and now this. He can’t even afford the divorce, how is he affording to buy a house?

I feel like I am lacking something in my life right now, and I’m not quite sure what it is. Obviously I wish I could get down to the Grove more often, but I get there when I can. I definitely feel like I’m lacking the spirituality level I’d like to be at right now. But I also feel somewhat alone in general. I miss hanging out with Jake and the gang, I miss the people at the Grove, I miss my sister and Steph.

I talked to my dad about the tipi idea, and he’s all for it. I also have yet to approach my uncle about doing some taxidermy work for him for extra money. I’m still trying to figure out where I’d find the time.

I decided the other day to read a childrens book I’ve kept since I was a wee little lass. I always liked it because it was about pioneering in the 1800’s, and I guess even as a kid I was always considered one. I was always the one building forts, camping outside in the woods at night, being tree’d by wild dogs that were abandoned by the dam.

I believe it was the first book in the series “Little House in the Big Woods” by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Obviously the inspiration for “Little House on the Prairie.” I’ve only read a few chapters so far, but it’s so amazingly charming. The simplicity yet the wonderful hardship of that style of life, reminds me a lot of growing up on the old farm. It’s just a really cute book, and I think I’ve kept it and a few others (like the first Boxcar Children) for my sister, and maybe future children of my own. Of course the pages on my copy are all yellow and musty smelling.

My dad wants to read it next, I think he’ll relate to it more than I will, plus his education was very limited, so it’ll be easier for him to read. Even now he asks me how to spell certain names for writing out his christmas cards (like Julie), because he is unsure how to. Yet I still respect and look up to him more than any other man I’ve ever met.