Sex
This might be TMI for some, if so, don’t read.
I have not had sex in 2 years.
The last time I had sex, was with my ex-husband (after we were already split) about 2 summers ago in a fit of weakness. Before that I think it was about the same, 2 years. It’s not that I haven’t had opportunity, it’s that I’m very picky about who I’m willing to have sex with. When I slipped and slept with Alex in 2004, I felt like an asshole, because we weren’t together anymore. And I believe I would feel 10 times the asshole if I slept with someone I didn’t care about.
When I was married and actually living with my husband, we had a very active sex life. It didn’t matter if we were over someones house, on the road, visiting our parents, before school, after school, it just didn’t matter. The most off-the-wall place we’ve probably been ‘intimate’ (and I use this term because it was oral sex), was in the back of my mothers van, while her and my step-father were in the front seat, and my sister was in the carseat in the middle.
I would like to have an active sex life again, but I am actually scared that I’ve lost my ‘touch.’ They say it’s like riding a bicycle, but is it really? How do you get over the initial jitters of having sex for the first time in a -very- long time?
The stage of my current relationship has not yet reached sex, but I have no doubt that it will. And I suppose I’m just very nervous about it.
Entry viewed times. Posted in Romance
6 Responses to “Sex”
February 15th, 2006 at 1:32 pm
Wow, to be honest I’m amazed that you have waited two years, and I’m very impressed with your standards. Yes, it is like riding a bike, and it can be scary at first(even if its not a first) But how do you know what’ll happen if you never try??
February 15th, 2006 at 1:39 pm
It hasn’t been easy, that’s for sure. But I just can’t allow myself to have one night stands or anything remotely related.
February 15th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
Well don’t break the bed springs when the time comes around again. I’m sure you’ll do fine and haven’t lost your touch. I can’t offere anymore advice than that as I don’t have -any- experience to draw on. Come thirty if I’m still a virgin I’m just gonna join a damn monkhood.
February 16th, 2006 at 8:48 pm
I can understand how you feel…I’ve always been picky and I’m glad that I had been all this time. About 1/2 of the very few guys I’ve slept with weren’t a great choice so I can only imagine all the other losers I could have slept with. Either way sex is only really good when it feels right…it’s about following instinct.
Anyway I’ll shut up now.
February 18th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
I think being nervous is normal.. and it is very much like riding a bike, in more ways than one. ~chuckles~ Just think of it as a chance to explore both yourself and your partner.
February 21st, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Hi, I just came over from Robin’s blog.
Sex IS just like riding a bycycle except you don’t have to worry too much about falling off.