I just signed up for a Vox account. I also have a Myspace account, and Livejournal account. Plus the main focus of everything Crys related, my domain here at tawodi.org.

That’s 4 different places with the exact. same. purpose.

People think I’m crazy, but there is a method to my madness. Even if it’s slowly driving me insane.

My domain is all for me. It’s where I store everything, it’s where I post everything. I can make it look however I want, give access to certain posts to whoever I want, it’s the big tom tom of the entire basket of blogging goodies.

Livejournal is for both internet and online friends to keep track of my posts. Everyone (including myself) checks their “friends” pages all the time, so it’s easier to keep track of what all your friends have posted on one convenient page. Rather than having to go to each persons journal or domain individually. So I essentially post there for the convenience of my friends.

Myspace is purely for my real friends to either 1. find me (I found a lot of people I haven’t seen since I was 16) or 2. they aren’t very internet savvy and just heard about this cool thing called myspace, so they signed up and it’s all they know how to use. The second one actually seems to be quite true…sadly enough. It’s the hip thing for the non-hip computer illiterate folks. No offense

Vox……….I have no clue. I’m just hopping on the bandwagon like I did with my gmail account I’ll never use but have anyway just in case.

I just get annoyed sometimes having to keep up with all these new programs and software. I suppose it’s good for a web developer to keep track of these things and familiarize with them. You’d be surprised to find out out that some companies, even medical facilities, are starting to request using things like Wordpress and such for their sites now. In fact the first site I ever had to program at my new job uses Wordpress for their RSS feeds. It’s a good thing I decided to switch to it last year from Movable Type

What sucks the most is having to post all of my entries individually to each individual one. There’s a plugin for Wordpress that should automatically post to my Livejournal for me, but I haven’t been able to get it to fully work yet. It’d be nice if someone would develop one for Myspace and Vox too, so all I have to do is post to my domain.

Money is biting me in the ass the last half of July. First half was good, and I was able to purchase all the necessary car parts for my broncos and my fathers trucks. But now car payment was paid, groceries need to be bought, Dad was short this month so I gave him a couple hundred. And I think I’ve spent my paycheck already, until I get paid again on the 30th *wince*. I have plenty in savings to keep me afloat, I just hate pulling from it. But I guess that’s what it’s there for, right..?

I’m to email my friend Heather about some investing advice. I want to really start focusing on making sure I’m good to go when retirement hits. I already have a 401k, but I’ve sent an email to the accountant here about the possibility of the Roth 401k. I also need to set up a 5 year investment fund of sorts for when I buy my new house in a few years. And at some point I’d like to do more research on other things to keep track of for retirement.

I guess my fathers predicament of absolutely no retirement has made me paranoid and wanting to start as early as possible.

Our gas is also low again, enough that I can really smell it leaking into the house. This would be the third time this year that we’ve run out because Suburban Propane will not deliver more often for some reason. I know they keep peopel on various schedules depending on how often they use their gas, I don’t see why it’s so hard to put us on a more frequent one.

It’s just tight right now, and I don’t like tight.

My fathers birthday is coming up in September. I’m not sure what I want to do yet. I thought buying him a brand new lawnmower. If we didn’t have all these animals to take care of, I’d take him up to the old cabins in New Hampshire that we used to go to. I also want to completely redo his room for him at some point when he’s gone for the day. He has no room in that little closet of his, and patching up the holes in the walls and such and setting up a desk and used computer for him would be a nice treat. Plus it’d get all his bills and shit off my damn kitchen table lol.

I found an old piece of an mp3 (this particular song reminds me of Stacey), so if interested, check it out.

I’m not feeling very good these past few days, both physically and mentally. I imagine my posts will be somewhat scattered for the next few days.

I was sitting with Will and Caryn at their camp last night before the drumming circle, and we got to talkin about wedding rings. I had mentioned that I still had my engagement ring, wedding ring, and Alex gave me back the wedding ring that I gave him, because both of the wedding rings were my parents.

Caryn was going to give her wedding ring to her son, Tegan, who is a very young and foolish boy, and at 18 is already a papa. But instead of giving it to him, so he can give it to a girl that may end up leaving him anyway and taking the ring with her, Caryn thought about selling it and giving the money to Tegan to help support the little baby. Which I thought was a very good idea.

I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with mine for a while. I thought about attempting to sell it and using the money towards my fathers medical bills. His recent surgery especially.

I’m not sure what to do about the wedding bands themselves. They are both yellow gold, and both look like chained links, with the womans having 4 diamonds along the top of the band. They are sentimental to me, my fathers wedding ring especially. But they aren’t something I intend to wear again. One reason being because I don’t like gold, the other being that I wore these in my first marriage. Doesn’t seem right to wear them in a second.

I suppose I could save them for any potential children I might have, so they could perhaps wear their grandparents wedding rings if they wanted. But I think the engagement ring I will probably definitely sell. Unless anyone has any other ideas.

This expensive ring shit is the pits. My next one will not be this expensive.

I’ll add to this post if any more come in.

When did you start following the wiccan path? and who led you to it? or was it yourself who led you to it?
When I was 16 and taking some English class in highschool, we had to read “The Crucible.” In order to do more historical research for the class, I was looking up books in the school library, and happened across one called “Encyclopedia of Witchcraft.” At least I think that’s what it’s called… Anyway, eventually I ran across one of Scott Cunninghams books and learned about this entire modern-pagan movement going on, so I hoped aboard. I did read up on Wicca at the start, as most people do, but I never considered myself Wiccan. I don’t really know what I am, honestly. All I know is that music and back-to-roots basics make me feel more spiritual than any sort of fancy ritual or absorption of mythological knowledge.

The last time I had great sex?
ha ha, that’s been a while. The last time I had sex at all was about 2 years ago (I think..) when I gave in to some hormones with my now ex-husband, even though we were already separated. But I can’t necessarily say it was great Though we did have great sex when we were together, I don’t really know how long ago that was. Too long, I imagine.

How come all I have ever seen of you is a small portion of your head in any picture?
I actually got asked this by an online friend the other day. I guess the main reason is paranoia. It’s the same reason I don’t post my last name on my real journal (I don’t post a lot of things on myspace), I black out all the license plate numbers of pictures of my truck, I don’t post my sisters name, or where I work.

I don’t want my mother to find my journal. It doesn’t really matter to me if she finds my myspace account, because I put it up for people to find me and to find my music. There’s a lot of stuff in my real journal that she could use against me in court, which my cousin can attest to, she’s done before. She actually had the gall to say that I wore promiscuous clothing in highschool, which was her name for White Zombie t-shirts and spikes, I guess.

Another reason relates to the employment thing. When I worked at the Vet, I had mentioned my place of employment somewhere on my site, and they found it and everything I ever posted about them. Needless to say I was forced to quit my job.

The last reason has more to do with my mothers idiocy than anything. One of the married men she was sleeping with apparently turned out to be more psycho than not. And after she slept with him, and then broke things off with him, he started creating bombs and threatening to blow us and his ex-girlfriend up. My mom called the cops, and the guy was put away, but I have no clue what type of psychos are out there.

It really just all filters down to me being paranoid, I guess. I think half the people that read my journal I know IRL anyway, so I never really think that they need pictures, but if someone is really that interested, I suppose I can produce some off-journal And I guess I should get some taken for my musical portfolio, for promotion and of any shows I start doing.

What is your Cosmology?
Boy that’s probably an involved one. You know the sad thing is, I probably don’t give much thought to questions like these as most people. Theology was never on my high list of interests. Would it be considered wrong to say I see the Divine in more ways than one?

I’ve related to polytheistic traditions since I was a kid, probably more of a facination with Greek Mythology that they teach you at that age. I remember my first introduction to Athena when I was about 12, our classmates were to assign a Greek Deity to us that they felt we were most similar too, and they all (including the teacher) assigned me to Athena. Hence why she is one of my patrons now. Perhaps I just like badasses, I don’t know. It would explain my obsession with Xena

Back on track though, I’ve also considered myself a “soft polytheist” moreso in the way of, whatever divine energies I feel, during ritual or even being represented on my altar, are all filtered into a generic nameless god and goddess figure. Sort of a father sky/mother earth type deal, which also tends to be easier to explain to people who don’t understand. It also seems to suit my spiritual interests with wilderness survival and appreciation a lot better.

What will you tell us about this relationship you’re involved with?
hrm, that might be better suited in a one-to- one conversation But I’ll tell you anything you want to know that way. For this purpose though, I can say that he’s treated me far better than any have in the past

How’s it goin?
lol, it’s going swell

What things do you want to do before you die?
Funny you should ask that. I actually started a list of things I’d like to do, because I tend to forget about them lol. The list is here.

If you had unlimited $$, what would you do?
I’d pay off all my fathers debts, buy him a truck that he didn’t always have to fix up, and buy our land and build him a house that isn’t condemned like the one we are living in now. The rest I’d probably start giving away to people who grew up with nothing, like myself Not people who live off the government because they are too lazy, but people who really struggle to get by.

What has been your greatest sexual experience so far (names/personalities not required)?
I’ve only had sex with one person, and that’s my recent ex-husband. There were moments that stick out in my mind as great sexual experiences with him, but out of respect for my current significant other (he does read this) I don’t think I should post it here.

Is there anything you want to do, but are afraid you’d back out at the last moment due to fear?
I always wanted to go deep sea diving. I love water and I love fish and other underwater creatures. But I have some crazy phobia of sunken ships or even seeing the underbelly of ships/boats. Perhaps it’s more of a fear of being run over by them and sucked into the propellers, I don’t know.

When can I have chicken and dumplings? Fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!
lol! You gotta come over and I’ll make you some again :) What are you doing in August?

Ask me a question, any question. Don’t be shy, you should know by now that I don’t hold much back