The story behind the Mother
Given the recent issues with my mother discovering my rather……detailed online journal, I’ve decided I would now take the time to explain this rather heinous hatred I have towards the woman who supposidly gave birth to me. I expect it to be long, but not necessarily a biography, just random thoughts.
My mother had me when when she was 19 years old in 1980. I don’t rightly know if she resented the fact that she mistakenly had a child that young. I was never told, nor did I bother to ask. I was born, and I was raised in some shape or form.
Growing up an only child gave me a lot of independant traits that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I grew up in the woods, I learned what I could from those woods and the animals we kept. At that age we were raising German Shepherds, had 3 horses, many rabbits and chickens (like now), and a very beautiful A-frame house on a nice plot of land.
Which is where we’ll start my issues with my mother, since again this isn’t a biography.
The house I grew up in was a house that my parents bought from my mothers parents. They built it, they owned it, and they were going to sell it to my mom and dad. My dad took out an $80,000 loan to buy this house, not knowing that my grandparents had already “given” them the house. Where did the $80,000 go? No one knows for sure, but from what I understand, my mother gave some of it to my uncle Michael, and kept the rest for herself.
My mother never got along with my dads family. I don’t really know why, I do know that she was a spoiled and emotional brat and my dads family tends to be very sarcastic. Which is not a good combination.
Because of her spoiled bratness, anytime I would bother her in the kitchen or while reading her romance novels or while watching her horror films, I’d get into trouble. She used to spank, which I don’t really have a problem with, but sometimes I thinks he did it for retarded reasons. Eventually I would run really fast to my father in the living room anytime she wanted to spank me, and he would never let her. Which I think pissed her off more than anything, because I was a daddy’s girl through and through.
When I was 8, I was staying over my cousin Cindy’s house on my fathers side. She was a year older, so we were constantly hanging out (insert random mp3 of us when I was 5). I was woken up by my mother banging on the door at 2am in the morning, demanding to take me home. I didn’t have time to get dressed, I didn’t really have time to wake up, I was just pulled by my arm out of the house at 2 in the morning.
From what I remember (keep in mind I was 8 years old) she had driven me into the woods behind our house, where there was a small airport, and my “Aunt S” was waiting in her gray car with my cousin Jon in the back seat sleeping. I crawled in the back with him and went back to sleep, but not before I saw all the clothes and belongings in the back of “Aunt S’s” car.
So she kidnapped me, essentially.
I don’t remember where she took me at that point, I do remember her keeping me from my father for quite some time, and us staying with various relatives.
A huge nasty custody battle ensued. She broke into the house to get more belongings while my dad was at work. It just so happened she did it on a day he came home early and caught her. She got very angry, and the cops were called, but he let her keep the stuff she had already taken out of the house.
Sometime during this brief period she had also run up some credit cards that my father never knew about, which he had to pay off. I can’t remember if the court forced my mother to pay for half or not, I’ll have to ask my dad.
During the custody battle, my mother accused my father of sexually abusing me, which I know he didn’t. Anything to get custody of me and as much child support out of him as possible. She got a good sum awarded to her each week, and somehow convinced the judge that the house had to be sold and my father couldn’t stay there. He also had to sell his 1969 roadrunner to make ends meet and find a new place to live with no money, and now a child support payment.
Fast forwarding a bit, over the years growing up, I got to see my dad every other weekend. Whenever possible, my “Aunt S” would fill my head with bad things about my father, about how they caught him kissing on other woman since the split, etc. Even my grandmother was in on it, which boggles me because I always had so much respect for her.
So from that point till about highschool I had a semi-normal childhood. Though I was now stuck into some suburban/city type areas with my mother, I always visited my fathers family as often as I could on the farm.
It wasn’t until after my sister was born, and my sisters father and my mother began having problems that all the issues with my mother started to resurface. Granted I always resented her for leaving my father, I learned to deal with having divorced parents.
When my sisters father and my mother split up, she began to absorb herself into the internet dating scene. My sister was about 4 or 5 years old at this time, and I was living in the basement and had my first car by then. Different guys from all ages were constantly coming and going from the house. I used to hack into her email and see some of the messages she was sending these guys. Some of which who were married!
I think the straw that broke the camel’s back and really made me despise my mother was when my sister and I fell asleep on the couch, and we both woke up to one of the married men walking down the stairs and out the front door. At 16 year old and a 5 year old in the house, and she’s bringing a strange guy over to stay the night? I was livid.
More guys came, some that would hit on me, some that would ask what size my biceps were (I read this in an email, and actually have it printed out). One of the guys was only a year older than me, which was just fucking creepy.
So I’d hide in my room a lot, bringing my sister with me. Or I’d take her with me to places just to get her out of the house. My mom would even start hitting on MY friends, which my friend Dan can attest too after his episode of mooning the lot of us and my mom just getting a little too aroused at the fact.
Eventually when I was 19, my cousin Steph helped me move out of the basement in the middle of the night, and we drove everything I own to my fathers. I was preparing to move to Virginia at the time, to live on the naval base with my husband. I just had to get out of the house. I still regret to this day leaving my sister behind. When I would come and visit from Virginia, she would literally throw herself down on the ground screaming for me to stay or take her with me because she didn’t want me to leave. I’d cry every time.
The catalyst for the last 5 years of drama happened in March of 2000, not long after the boyfriend who was a year older than me, had dumped my mom and she had her mental breakdown (to which she gave me my sister for a few weeks to live in Virginia while she recovered).
This is when she eloped with the psychotic criminal named Pete. Didn’t tell anyone, just went and eloped, and sent everyone in the family an email announcing it afterwards. I suppose I could have been more graceful in my reply, but I was pissed. I now had a convicted felon living in the house with my sister, who was now MY stepfater, whom I had never met. What’s not to be pissed about?
Apparently he read my reply, and decided to call me up one day while I was in Virginia, and my father happened to be visiting. He decided to tell me he was going to kill me. Not long after my screaming at him over the phone my dad took the receiver from me and told that “Son of a bitch to drive down here and he’ll beat his ass and don’t you ever call down here and talk to my daughter like that ever again you sorry sack of shit.”
Pete was the one that started the custody issues with my sisters father, stating that her father abused her and that he had to have supervised visitation. Guess who got to be the supervisor? Me. The judge trusted me, liked me, and said it would be okay if I was the supervisor because he knew that I only want what is best for my sister. I don’t have a hidden agenda like everyone else.
So about a year of supervised visitations down in Baltimore City, some of which did not go so well. Eventually this all lead to court, Pete decided that accusing my sisters father of molestation would help them win. Again my mother falsely accuses her ex of sexual child abuse to get what she wants. Only this time it didn’t work. My sister was given her own lawyer to look out for her interests, and low and behold, my mother loses custody! Mostly due to these two court documents which are transcripts of a message that Pete left on my sisters lawyers voicemail: (Pete 1 Pete 2).
The judge knew my sister could not live in the house with this psycho, and ordered that officials immediately go get my sister from school and bring her to stay with me temporarily till things calm down. I think Vernon felt better about her living with me because my dad and I have rifles in case Pete decided to come after us.
When they picked her up from school, she was filthy, and was using a plastic grocery bag as a bookbag. They were living in a mobile home, due to being evicted from their apartment, which had human feces on the floor.
Over the next few years it’s just a constant custody battle back and forth full of lies and deceit from my mother. She even blamed me for my grandmothers death in 2001, stating that it was the stress -I- put on her when I testified in court against my mother.
I can honestly say my sister has been in a better living situation ever since. Though it has been a strong emotional battle with all the bullshit my mother fills her head with, just like she did me. I only wish I could do more for her, I want to be there for her, it’s just not always possible.
And no, I’ll never forgive my mother.
Entry viewed times. Posted in Mom
2 Responses to “The story behind the Mother”
August 24th, 2006 at 1:30 am
I remember when we would take your sister home. She threw herself on the ground screaming because she didn’t want you too leave her.
Do you remember hauling that water bed out of your basement still filled a little bit with water all the way up the stairs? We were trying to sneak by your moms office window while she was being a Internet ho. She probably never even noticed. Vernon showed up and helped us I think.
Ahh memories…
I never read that voice mail transcript before. Did I ever tell you what “Aunt S” used to say about Pete?
“He’s paid is debt to society.”Everyone should just forgive and forget.” His child abuse charge was against a 17 year old boy and they just got into a fight.”
Your mom… there are no words for her.
August 24th, 2006 at 9:11 am
ah ha ha, yes I remember the waterbed. I think we tore a bunch of holes in it doing that which is why I never set it up at my apartment in Norfolk. We moved it back and forth for nothing, I shoulda just left it in Norfolk
I remember what “Aunt S” used to say, she’s a quack.