Would you Support Someone who won’t Support Themselves?
This tends to be a difficult subject for several people, but was recently brought to my attention by a friend going through the same situation.
Would you Support Someone who won’t Support Themselves?
By that, I don’t mean that they “can’t” support themselves (even that can be argumentative depending on the situation), but I’m talking about blatantly ignoring responsibility and discretion.
For example, lets say you have a relative that despite being what is considered an adult (maybe in their late 20’s or early 30’s), but consistently goes from job to job. They do this because they don’t put forth any effort to keep their jobs, or maybe they don’t even have a job at all. They kinda float through each day, using credit cards, piling on their debt, with no plan to pay any of it back.
I actually have a friend with two sons that are exactly like this. They will get a job making $7/hour or so, and decide they are not making enough money so they just stop showing up. They never quit, they aren’t usually fired, they just stop showing up without even providing their employer with the common courtesy of letting them know. Their excuse is that they aren’t making enough money, and want to start out at a job making at least $15/hour. Never mind that one of them never graduated highschool and neither of them have bothered to develop any skill-set.
But the friend that sparked this article has relatives on the other end of the spectrum. People that are well into their adulthood, possibly 40’s or 50’s, and still spends money like it grows on trees. When it comes time to pay bills and take care of the important mundane things, instead they ask relatives for money. It is highly likely that they will be out on the streets, and then whose responsibility is it to help them? Should you spend your money supporting them? Should you give them a chance to turn themselves around despite their habit of falling into the same problem over and over again?
To be honest, I probably wouldn’t. I know right now I’m supporting my father, but he is on disability so he does have some income, and he does odd jobs for his own spending money. I know he’d rather be working so I’m more than happy to support him. But a relative or friend that wouldn’t support themselves, I see no reason to put myself into financial ruin over. It’s not my responsibility, and I have obligations to my own future, and my fathers care, neither of which I’m willing to risk on people that are completely capable of taking care of themselves but are too lazy too.
What are your thoughts? Are we automatically obligated to family?
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One Response to “Would you Support Someone who won’t Support Themselves?”
April 22nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I have found that the lines between “can’t” and “won’t” blur a great deal when dealing with mental illness. Most people can accept that a person can’t take complete care of themselves when they have some physical impairment, but the same people are often quite critical of those with the more nebulous mental impairment. The problem is further muddled by a society that throws around terms like depression in every day context without any clue as to what actual clinical depression is like.
While I don’t wish to go into details regarding my sister, ultimately, the only ones she can count on are her family. She’s put us all through a great deal of work, but there isn’t anyone else to help, and it has to be done. Obviously, this is an example of immediate family and I may feel differently about a cousin in the same situation.