If I get one more person telling me what I can and can’t do, whether I can or can’t see a house because they don’t think I’ll get “approved” for it, I’m going to bust a sprocket. I’m running this show, not them. I will see what houses I want to see, and then I’ll work out any lender issues I need to work out. I’m not going to live in some apartment that completely changes the way my father and I live, and I’m not going to settle for less than what I want. This is a life-long commitment (though I do not intend to stay where we end up forever, this is merely something to stay in the next couple years, fix up, and resell at some point).

I’m also tired of people not calling me back. I’m not going to do business with people that don’t have the decency to acknowledge me for over a week when I’m trying to do business with them. These are the precedences that I’m setting, and people will either comply, or they can bite me.

In semi-good news, some men stopped by the house today and are offering me $400 cash for my broken down F-150 with a blown engine. I don’t necessarily -want- to sell it, but my desire to not have to move the damn thing when we move is stronger. Plus if I’m going to restore anything, it’s going to be the bronco first. So I will probably sell it and get it out of here.

I’m also going to try and sell the blue bronco for like $800-$1000, just to get that one out of the way.

My ex-husband stopped by today, because I told him he needs to get his shit out of the garage or it’s just going to end up in storage again for I don’t know how long. However he started loading things that I didn’t give him permission to take. Fortunately I called right as he was doing it, and when my father told me what he was doing, I made sure he stopped.

He’s supposed to stop over tomorrow to continue going through a few things to take out, which means less packing for me, hopefully.

Today is another bad one.

I am a cheap date, and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

7 ways to be a Cheap Date:

1. I prefer a nice home-cooked meal with a night in front of a warm fire or watching a good movie to a fancy dinner date with crappy food and bad champagne. You’d be surprised what the sentiment is behind preparing a meal and a nice evening at home with your loved one can mean.

2. Though I like diamonds, I also like many other rocks and gemstones (I’m a bit of a rockhound) and would prefer a nice peridot, herkimer diamond (quartz) and amber ring instead of expensive diamonds. I actually prefer jewelry made from bone, leather, and wood. I think a ring that represents more than just a pricetag is invaluable. Expensive 2-month-salary diamond rings are -not- an age-old tradition.

3. I own 3 pairs of shoes. That includes 2 pairs of boots for winter and everyday, and 1 pair of sandals. Otherwise I’m barefoot. No need to worry about me spending hundreds of dollars on 100 pairs of shoes. Imagine all the money you’d save if you didn’t purchase all those shoes laying in your closet. (Ever see Clean Sweep? I’ve seen people on there with 150 pairs of shoes) Instead, purchase universal style shoes that can be used with many outfits and attire.

4. I wear eyeliner and eyeshadow, and also brush my hair and go. That’s about it. I don’t need a separate bookbag just to carry all of my cosmetics and grooming accessories. I don’t dry my hair (it’s straight), I don’t put anything in my hair (I like au naturale). I believe that no one needs to spend hundreds of dollars a month on cosmetics to look good. A few barettes or hair pieces to sweep up your mane in a variety of “do’s” is all that is necessary.

5. I hate shopping. I really do. But beyond that, I like to wear my clothes out to the brim. And even then, I like to reinvent them as something else. Whether it’s rags or other garments or being refashioned into bags. The possibilities are endless.

6. My sweetheart knows a well-written letter and a bag of my favorite creme caramels are well appreciated. I don’t want a dozen expensive roses (I prefer plants anyway, so they grow instead of die) or a diamond necklace just to show me how much he loves me. I think people tend to forget the meaning behind gift giving. It’s not about the price tag or having the biggest and best. It’s about the meaning. Prepare a well-thought out gift for your loved one, they’ll appreciate that you didn’t break the bank to do it. Even if it’s just randomly gathering up some wildflowers on your way home from work unexpectedly.

7. The Big Day. People spend a retarded amount of money on their wedding day. It’s just a gathering where people come to celebrate that you’ve decided to be together. Why break the bank by purchasing needless expenditures when you can use this day to have fun and spend time with all the people that love you. Why not make it a pot-luck and allow your guests to provide all of the food? Support a friend or family member who may be a seamstress and have them create all of the gowns and dresses. Have your favorite type of cake made by a friend or family member as well, so there is plenty to go around without the pricetag.

I think the key element is to just not be a high-maintenance date. You should never have trivial financial demands of your significant other, instead you should both put forth the effort to focus on the relationship itself. You’ll be able to save for a comfortable retirement together, and know that you’ll be developing smart financial skills to pass on to your children.

Dad fell the other day and busted his knee open. He’s alright, just embarassed. I’ve tended it with some tea tree.

We’ve lost 4 or 5 guinea’s in the last two weeks, probably due to a hawk. We’ve seen a gray hawk come after the chickens once last weekend. I’m not sure what we’re going to do about that yet, but it’s gotta be something. The downfalls of owning fowl I reckon.

My best friends came up from Baltimore today to treat me to dinner to celebrate my latest accomplishment. With them they had a gift to present to me, courtesy of my sweetheart. It was a blue morpho butterfly pendant that I had been wanting for months. Of course I almost cried when I opened it and realized they were all in on it.

I was also offered two very special things from my sweet Anna and Dennis, which I’m not going to disclose here, but to say the least, I have the most amazing friends.

After dinner we rode up to Highland Farms to unload a piano and hung out till about 2am or so drumming and chatting.

The night I came home from dinner with my mother was a rough one for me. I sat up very late, mostly just thinking, and mainly just about my father. Seeing my mother so weak and realizing how alone she really must be, all due to her own selfish bullshit, made me realize how alone I really am too.

I have great friends that I grew up with in highschool. We get together a couple times a year for backyard BBQ’s and whiffle ball. And if I called Jake and needed a favor, he’d help, because that’s the kind of guy he is. But they rightfully all have their own lives, their own marriages, their own homes and responsibilities. We don’t call each other a lot, and may not see each other a lot, but when we get together, it’s always like old times.

I’m not close to any family on either side, except for my cousin Stephanie. She’s in Germany now, and her husband is being transfered to Georgia, where she plans to stay. So we may be able to talk online or on the phone a lot, but obviously visits are going to be seldom.

So I guess essentially all I have is my dad. I love my dad more than anything. The realization that every day I spend with him is so overwhelmingly precious anymore because I don’t know when he’ll eventually pass on, is very scary. I have to get used to the idea, and to the idea of being here alone, which is fine I guess. I’m trying to get my finances in order now so that I can afford living on my own, but it’s not easy.

Lately, especially Sunday mornings, I’ve been leaving a recorder on while my dad listens to his bluegrass music, sings, and cooks breakfast. I’m saving these to listen to and remember just how precious my dad really is over the years. Does that sound weird?

There is, of course, always my sweetheart too. But you can never tell how those things will really go. My planning just can’t include him in case things don’t work out, and lately they’ve been really weird.

I am slightly high off of feminine romance movies, so of course I have to take this opportunity to spout off romantic nonsense that only makes sense to me and one other person.

I don’t write much about my relationship, not for lack of anything to say, but perhaps the desire to keep it more sacred and less poisoned by everyone elses opinions.

I have been in this relationship for a year and a half, and regardless of whatever direction it takes, it has been one of the most positive influences of my life. The mere mention of his name throws me into a permanent smile, even to this day. I’ve memorized all of his little quirks, just as he’s memorized mine. I love the way he calls me baby, I love listening to his laugh, I love the way he talks about taking care of my father, I love the way he says “right” and “list” with his ever charming southern accent, and he makes fun of the way I say “Gas” (apparently I say “Gayus”).

And you know you have a great catch when he goes on a week-long trip to Florida to do some training for work, and not only does he give you a care package of a cute romantic cartoon that you’ve never seen (but you find hold several minute inner-meanings towards your relationship), but talks to you on the phone for hours every night while he’s there (sometimes upwards to 4 hours), watches the movie with you, surprises you with candy, and makes sure to call you every morning.

Then you think that perhaps, finally, those romantic and sentimental movies are actually hitting on something. That perhaps they aren’t just false romanticism stories that get everyone twitterpated and wishing for the impossible. That your previous relationships, while exciting at first, and with many lessons learned, could never have been molded to even match the intensity of finding “true love”.

I guess I just consider myself a lucky girl.

Here’s an interesting tradition in relation to the “love” holiday.

Beginning in the 1980s, in the centre of the southern Hungarian city of Pécs, lovers began to clamp padlocks to a wrought-iron fence in a narrow street linking the mosque in the city’s main square and the magnificent medieval cathedral, as a symbol of their commitment to one another. However, after the fence was completely covered and no more padlocks could be added, couples, both locals and tourists, began attaching them to fences and statues throughout the town centre.

I signed up for Cherokee II classes in December, and the scheduled I signed up for was Tuesday and Thursday, 10:30am-11:30am. I figured I can listen/study while coding at work. I was supposed to have my first class this morning, but turns out the schedule (which is apparently still wrong on the website) is Mondays and Wednesdays 6:30-7:30pm. Which works out better for me, but I would have prefered not to miss the first class.

So I get to listen to it today, but it looks more like a recap of the end of Cherokee I, so I already went over this lesson.

Sample: Crystal daquadoa = My name is Crystal
Pronounced more like Crystal Dah-qua-doe-ah

Had a 5 hour financial budget meeting at the Grove on Saturday. Mostly going over and setting up the budget for the next year. Sunday I had no energy to do anything remotely productive. I didn’t even bother paying much attention to the MUD.

I was talking to Mr. Sweetheart about my plans to do with my tax return, though I have no idea how much it will actually be, since I claimed my father as a dependant for half of the year (usually I claim nothing, and just wait to claim it on my return). I was hoping to buy a cheap laptop for Grove related matters, put maybe $1k down on my car, and put the rest into savings. Turns out Mr. Sweetheart went out and bought me a laptop (as a surprise, but he had to tell me so I wouldn’t buy one), and is setting everything up for me before giving it to me.

I have to decide whether to claim my father as a dependant for 2007, or wait until 2008 taxes. I may as well, because we’ve needed the extra money, and if I have to change it later, I can. I might talk to my Aunt who works for Jackson Hewitt and see what she suggests.

We just put a new hot water heater in the house, which cost a pretty penny. But ours was leaking really bad, so the basement was always wet, and it was always kicking on over and over. The damn thing was 30 years old, so it was definitely worth its weight. I doubt the new one will last even half that long. They just don’t make em like that anymore. Hopefully the landlord will let us take it out of the rent.

I put the new power supply in my computer to see if that was the issue with it shutting down recently. It wasn’t, but I did find one of my prongs was fried, so it was a good thing it was replaced!

Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary (hoyl shit). I’d like to claim this day back as something else, but I am not sure what. It should have a different remembrance, and one that is a positive influence on my life and who I am.

Any ideas?